INSTAGRAM COOL AND ANOTHER REASON WHY RENTING OFF THE INTERNET IS RISKY!

FOR RENTAGAIN!??? A few days ago, I got an inquiry about one of my rental listings.    While this is pretty common this time of year, what was unusual is that the inquiry came from a young woman in the city who apparently had been in communication with “me.”   Lucky for her, she accidently deleted the email chain and had to google “me” to make contact again.  The only problem is she was not corresponding with me but rather someone who had cloned my rental listing online and placed a short term rental ad on Craigslist.    It’s sad but this is not the first time this has happened to me.    Apparently this person was charging $500/night for 6+ bedroom house south of the highway with the money due upfront.   Hey, once again if it looks too good to be true kids…. it’s probably a scam.     Meanwhile, I encouraged her to either use a broker or even look at sites like VRBO and skip Craigslist.     In the end I alerted to Craigslist to this fraudulent ad and 5 days later, they’ve yet to remove it.     I know I didn’t post it nor did the owner of the house.     Meanwhile, if any of you are planning to impersonate me online….. can you at least give me six pack abs in any of the photos?

Now after dealing with all of this drama, I’m going to spend some time relaxing and go cruising on Instagram.    I mean, what better way to appreciate the Hamptons than eating cookies, lying on the sofa and seeing how much more fun everyone else is having!!?   But before I tell you who I’m following, feel free to follow me at @PJMHAMPTONS.     You can learn all about my dogs, Tate’s cookies and my latest properties for sale.

@roundswampfarm & @loavesandfishesfoodstore –  The ultimates in Hamptons food porn!   I mean how else would you learn that the Jalapeno Bean Burger is back or th

Raspberry+Almond+Cookies
Lisa’s Raspberry cookie @roundswamnpfarm

at you need an almond cheese danish!?

@hamptonsrealestateshowcase – a quick peek at some of the newest and best real estate properties around.

@thewatermillcenter – The center that hosts one of the funkiest events of the summer also gives you an amazing look into some cutting edge art pieces via their Instagram posts.   Featuring everything from Lady Gaga to well, who knows this is a must follow.

@hamptonscarspotter – exotic, classic and anything that looks cool on wheels is featured in this east end account.   So far, they’ve not yet featured my 14 year old Jeep Sahara with 100k miles but hey the summer is still young.

@libbylangdon – Libby is an interior designer and TV personality with quick ideas for making your home a little more “Hamptons.”   Her sunny and perky and informative posts will wake you up faster than two cups of espresso!

@modelbartenders – if you don’t have good looking friends you might as well have some good looking staff.  RIGHT?! Ok, technically this is a NYC based account but they do serve the Hamptons and it features models!  EYE CANDY!

@truth_training – you’ll never get to be a @modelbartender unless you work out like the folks on this account.   I find it so inspiring I’m going to do some kettlebell lifts right after I finish the cinnamon roll from @roundswampfarm.  Seriously though there is some great information about their classes and ideas for fighting flab.

Cover_White
The new book by @justfredericoazevedo

 

@hedgeshamptons – meet the brokers, celebrity news and go behind the hedges (get it?) of some of the most stunning homes you can’t afford.      Yep, its total real estate porn and worth following!

@justfredericoazevedo and @hollander_design – two of the hottest landscape designers around!     Be inspired by Frederico Azevedo and Ed Hollander or just be wowed by their stunning landscape designs.   It’s like a walk in the park without leaving your sofa… or your Tate’s cookies.

@gimmeshelteranimalrescue – Cuteness overload and they’re all available for adoption!  Share some of their posts and maybe you can get a furry fur legged friend a home.

@Mecoxbaydairy – it’s a glimpse into country living at its best.   Cheese.  MMMMMMM… CHEEEESSEEE.   Oh and there’s also COWS!   Who doesn’t like looking at the face of a cow!!?  Of course, unless it’s before your going to LT Burger.

 

cows
@mecoxbaydairy … COWS!

 

 

 

3 HINTS TO RENT YOUR HOUSE THIS SUMMER AND BAD WEATHER, NO PROBLEM – LET’S GOLF!

Every now and then this blog is inspired by the muses.  But first I need to clarify, I’m   talking about that Olivia Newton-John kind of muse, not by the classic Greek muses.     So what was my latest inspiration?  Was it to quit my job and open an elaborately decorated roller-disco?  No, it was to help you my friends!  Help you turn your house into an actual Xanadu that people will want to rent this summer!

1-  Make sure the house is uncluttered and neutralized.    By neutralized I mean take all of those quirky little decorative choices you’ve made and turn them into a Pottery Barn dream!   Floral patterns are a no.   Besides, Laura Ashley has been dead since 1985.  It’s time to move on.   Think basic, basic, basic; monochromatic bed spreads, curtains and

Floral
Yeah, nothing says summer rental like flowers!

carpeting.      Also, put away all of those family photos that litter your foyer, bedroom and den.    Yes, you can tell potential renters you’re going to put them away but it’s better to make it look like an easy task rather than relocating the National Portrait Gallery.     Speaking of art, that thing on the refrigerator isn’t that good and your kid is no Renoir.   Give it to Grandma.  Besides, she loves that ####, go ahead and make her day.

2 – Now that your house doesn’t look like the before from an episode of “Horders,”  call a photographer and have the home professionally shot.    You get what you pay for and it’s worth it.    You’ll get better money if the house shines and it won’t shine if you take photos from your iphone or Polaroid Swinger.      Talk to your real estate agent and ask for suggestions.  I’m sure they’ll be able to provide you with a few names.

3- Speaking of real estate agents… make sure they know you’re on the market for rent.   That means get it into the local database and unless you’re living in the Taj Mahal it’s a good idea to make sure you keep it as an “open listing.”    No agent is going to retire from the 10% you pay on the rental lease so at least make it an enticing proposition.     More and more agents are putting listings into the system as “exclusive rentals” and that’s a mistake.    You’ve just drastically reduced your potential showings.  But if the idea of meeting agents or giving out keys makes you nervous, hire an agent and have them list your property at compelling split with the other agents.   That means, you’re listing agent takes 20% and the agent who brings the tenant get’s 80% of the 10%.    Think about it this way, agents are not doing this as a hobby, they want to make money.   Make it worth it!

So once you get your house ready for rental, I’m sure a few of you out there would like nothing more than to relax with a nice round of golf.   But if the idea of flying to Florida seems too daunting a task (I’m assuming you don’t want to golf with snow on the ground), you may want to just take your clubs and head to Toilsome Rd. in East Hampton for a visit with PGA Pro Eric Schultzel.   His training facility there is completely indoors and weather is no problem.     Click the video below to get a little preview.

Visiting Eric’s Golf Simulator Studio from Patrick Mclaughlin on Vimeo.

You can also click here to visit Eric’s site or give him a call at 631-527-5959

 

 

 

 

IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK LIKE A HAMPTONS INSIDER… READ THIS!

It’s now official, the Hamptons are now the sixth borough.    When you pick up your land line phone, you now have dial the area code for local calls.   It’s not that it’s a big deal but I kind of think it’s the tipping point for something.  I’m not sure what… but it’s definitely a tipping point for something.

New Technology is coming to the Hamptons!

Meanwhile, I never realized it but when you sell real estate on the East End you start to speak a language all of it’s own.   A few months ago I started noting the terms I use with some of my other friends in the biz out here to describe the people and places in our humble little neck of the woods.   So here they are in no particular order or significance, additions to the lexicon of selling Hamptons real estate.

TMS or Taj Mahal Syndrome – this is when a home seller thinks their particular property is the best of the best.   Yes, it involves an inflated price tag on their home and total denial of the realities of the market place.    While they love their gilded fish faucets in the downstairs powder room, very few consumers will put a value on such a luxurious fixture.   It doesn’t matter how much they cost.  It’s really a frustrating affliction for realtors because how do you not insult your sellers while explaining, “everyone thinks your #@#***%  gilded fish are hideous?”

Catfished – this term is actually used more often when discussing Facebook profiles  but can also be used to describe when some customers actually see an advertised listing in person.     Thanks to

Catfished:  photoshopping happens

modern technology and overseas sweat shops, it’s easier for property photos to be “enhanced” without spending a fortune.    A gaping hole in the roof?   No problem, it’s solved with a click of a mouse and a wave of a pen.   So imagine, the buyers delight when they actually see the house in person!?  They’ve been “catfished.”

A Kobe –  Remember when Kobe Bryant got tangled up in a sex scandal a few years back?  A few nasty headlines and the next thing you know is his wife got a brand new bauble the size of Texas?   Well it happens here too. So, while diamonds are a girls best friend, real estate is many a girls BFF (rings can get lost).   Now, I don’t want to sound sexist.  There are more than a few men out there getting their “kobes” too. But while I’ve also noticed it’s usually spouse #2 who gets these 8000 square foot multi-million dollar baubles, there really is nothing wrong with it.    I’m happy to helps someone “kobe” anyone, anytime.

Earhardt – Yes, I’ve written about this before but a great term is worth repeating.   This one was shared to me by one of our local cab drivers a few years ago.    This is a person who is renting a home in the Hamptons but can’t remember where it’s located.    A reference to the pioneer and missing aviator Amelia Earhardt.    These particular folks are usually spotted wandering around early in the season on the streets of the east end looking for the cedar shingled house with the pool in the back yard.

Yes it’s fun being here in the playground of the rich, famous and sometime clueless… where we have a lifestyle and a language all our own!

 

Are Rich People trying to Impersonate Me?! I Smell a Scam in East Hampton!

What can I say, it’s been busy in the Hamptons lately and this weekend will be no exception, even in the middle of WINTER!   Yes, WINTER… the Winter Warlock is working overtime this weekend; there’s snow, the winter Olympics .. very little day light….
Winter Winter Everywhere!

and Sag Harbor hosts it’s Third Annual Harborfrost.    It’s relatively new tradition with fireworks, parties, art exhibits and the locals coming out of hiding to celebrate all things cold and frosty.  But if you really want to know what Harborfrost is really like, let me quote what a friend of mine calls it, “Spring training for St. Patrick’s day in Montauk.”   Anyway, here is the schedule and web site for HarborFrost 2014!   Go have fun people and be safe!  Also, take heart, EH Village beach passes are now on sale!  Winter will soon be a thing of the past like “Beliebers.”

Meanwhile, It’s been a weird couple of days.   First, there was the angry man calling from “Microsoft” who wanted me to give him access to my computer, apparently there getting error message from my “windows computer.”  As he demands,  “Push the Microsoft Flag key and control,” I inquire who exactly he wants to speak to… I mean he has my computer registered in his files, right?    Once again he demands I listen to him but he still doesn’t know my name!  If you’re really interested, google it apparently it’s a common scam.  I actually find these scammers kind of fun to tease, I’m lonely!

Then I got an e mail from someone saying, “I hope you don’t mind me e mailing you at this address?   I googled real estate, hamptons and Patrick and I found your business contacts.    Apparently the e mail we’ve been communicating on has been redacted!”  REDACTED?   I had to look that word up to find out it basically means deleted.
After I emailed saying, “refresh my memory, what were we talking about?”   The nice gentleman figured out he had been had.     Apparently some clown from god knows where took my photo and my name and proceeded to list a summer rental on Air BNB for a home on Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton!!!   Now call me wacky but do you really think anyone who has an oceanfront on Lily Pond lane is going to list on Air Bnb?    Is Jon Bon Jovi or Martha Stewart perhaps impersonating me on the
The Air BNB ad , I didn’t place!!!

Interwebs?  What, can’t they just send unwanted pizzas or ring the doorball and run away to the neighbors they don’t like?!   I mean this is crazy!!!  Anyway, the nice people at Airbnb.com caught this before me and the ad was taken down.   But how weird is this   (See it below).    So buyer… or renter beware when you’re surfing online!     This is almost as weird as when Amex asked me if I bought 10 cases of horse feed in Kentucky!   Besides if you’re going to steal anyones identity… I mean really… you couldn’t pick someone more glamorous than me!?
Also, don’t mind if I rub this in… DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME FOLKS USE A BROKER OR AGENT!