IN CRUST WE TRUST… ASIAN WITH A FRENCH TWIST… PLUS THE BROVENTURE THAT BIT THE DUST.

Looks like East Hampton is leaning in hard to its new identity as “Little Little Italy.” The once-rotating door of restaurants at the old Laundry/Lodge/Leif Hope’s/Race Lane/Botero space is getting yet another tenant—this time, it’s Rubirosa (or as we’re calling it, Rubirosa for the season), the legendary red-sauce-slinging shrine from NYC’s Little Italy. Yes, the Staten Island pizza dynasty behind Joe & Pat’s is bringing their vodka pie dreams out east in a summer pop-up that’s sure to leave carb-loving locals sauced. With East Hampton already feeling like an Italian food group chat—Città Nuova, Serafina, Crazy Pizza, Sant Ambroeus (close enough), Sam’s, and La Campanina—we’re officially at risk of a marinara monopoly. But we’ll allow it, especially if the chicken parm is as gooey as the gossip at Nick & Toni’s. Get ready for vodka pies that could convert a keto warrior, and enough mozzarella to clog Montauk Highway. One thing’s for sure: this town isn’t running out of thyme—it’s running out of thyme to digest all this Italian food. Sorry.

Those of us who were annoyed beyond belief last year by the pretentious “NAOA Life Club” on Buckskill Road in East Hampton can breathe easier. If you recall, a couple of bros from the city rebranded the old Hampton Racquet Club as a wellness club with a reputedly $30,000 membership fee. $30K for wellness? As Fred Sanford would say, “I’m coming, Elizabeth!” Applications also had to include links to social media and a photograph. Of course, NO NERDY, OLD OR UNATTRACTIVE FOLKS. Anyway, thank goodness, that venture failed and Hampton Racquet is back with a fairly sensible $3K individual membership and some fancy new upgrades thanks in part to NOAA or NAOA OR NOAH. Whatever! Anywho, also back is the amazing Thai food of the former V Cafe with a new French/Asian fusion twist. Now called Suongs Cafe, it will likely be one of my go-to spots this summer… so sing a SUONG.


And remember all that brew-ha-ha last year about the Hedges Inn (everyone’s favorite drive through hotel). possibly turning into yet another exclusive members’ nightlife club? That also failed. (Toteboard so far: Hamptons 2, City Bros 0.). Andrew and Sarah Wetenhall, who transformed the Colony Hotel in Palm Beach, are taking on the Hedges Inn, founded in 1873 by Isabella Hedges (who by the way was also one of the founders of LVIS). Guests of the 13-room inn can choose from some pretty luxe amenities, including Ahab, the inn’s “texting concierge service”. Supposedly,  “whether guests are after a last-minute dinner reservation, additional pillows, the best beach for golden hour, or just a clever one-liner, Ahab is always just a text away.” Excuse me a second, folks! I need to text for a clever comeback.


Also available is a “personalized beach setup service,” “curated beachside refreshments,” and a “bespoke bike program.” Thank god the bikes have spokes! Anyone else tempted to check in and see if they have palanquin service to Main Beach? Just me? The new restaurant is called Swifty’s, because nothing says “Hamptons” like a restaurant named for a famous Hollywood agent who lived permanently in L.A. Noteworthy dishes include Swifty’s crushed avocado with espelette (nope, me neither), agave house chips, pico de gallo, and Yami’s salsa. The menu also features jumbo Maryland crab cakes, chicken curry salad, chilled lobster salad with green goddess dressing, and chicken paillard with lemon, arugula, and shaved parmesan. On top of all this they’ll be hosting their (local Paul Johnson who is famous) apparently “famous” trivia night every Sunday from 5-6:30.

Brady’s Card Vault Scores a Touchdown… Just in Time for Another Prix Fixe Blitz

CELEB NEWS, Tom Brady is heading to East Hampton—but not to toss a football or rekindle anything with Gisele. The NFL legend is opening another Card Vault, this time taking over the former Tod’s/Tory Burch spot in the heart of the village. With locations already in Massachusetts and Connecticut and East Rutherford NJ, this high-end trading card shop is apparently where touchdowns meet Topps. I recently brought it up while watching Patti LuPone’s one-woman show at Symphony Space (as one does), and the reactions were… mixed. A few friends asked if he was selling credit cards, one wondered aloud if Gisele would be doing the decorating, and the rest had never heard of him. I didn’t have the heart to explain. But cheers to my friend Eileen O’Neill of Corcoran for brokering the deal—and for those who actually do follow Brady, rumor has it he’ll be in town Memorial Day weekend for the grand opening. Get your selfie sticks and rookie cards ready.

Didn’t we just do this? Yes, Long Island Restaurant Week is back again—because apparently, our waistlines didn’t suffer enough in January. Running from April 27th to May 4th, the spring edition offers prix fixe menus that’ll tempt you into carbs and cocktails all over again. Some Hamptons heavy-hitters joining the gluttony this round include Barons Cove, Nick & Toni’s, Page, Rumba, The Palm, Il Buco, Flora and Fauna (yes, both), LDV at Maidstone Inn, Ocean Club Montauk, Cowfish, Cove Hollow Tavern, Kalissa, and Bridgehampton Inn. Whether you’re pretending to be “just here for the salad” or diving fork-first into dessert, there’s something for everyone—except maybe your skinny jeans. Full list and menus at www.longislandrestaurantweek.com. Bon appétit, again.

Finally, all aboard the retail express—next stop: confusion! A few months back, a not-so-subtle (yet somehow still invisible) “available retail space” sign popped up at the East Hampton LIRR station, offering a 613-square-foot “opportunity” that includes 125 square feet of exclusive retail space and 488 square feet shared with the M.T.A.—yes, including a bathroom. According to the M.T.A., anything from a newsstand to a full-service restaurant is possible… just hold the tobacco, adult content, and apparently, joy. Tenants are also required to keep the waiting room and restroom open daily from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. all summer—because who doesn’t dream of being a bathroom attendant in paradise? Bids were supposedly due in February, but the sign’s still up and it’s still on LoopNet. As for CBRE? I searched harder than an LIRR conductor checking tickets and found nada. Similar spaces are also available in Southampton and Amagansett if you’re looking to train for retail glory.

Yeah, I know the shirtless pic of Brady is gratuitous. But I know my audience.

“Tacos Fold, Traffic Flips, and Gurney’s Gets gigi-fied: Just Another Week in the Hamptons”

El Taco Bar going back to the burgers!

Just a few short seasons ago, El Taco Bar in Sag Harbor salsa’d onto the scene with a flurry of fanfare, promising handmade tortillas, curated cocktails, and “authentic Mexican cuisine” courtesy of Chef Laurent Tourondel. But now? The only thing sizzling is the rumor mill. Despite signs on the door boldly declaring they’ll be back this spring, brown paper over the windows tells a different story—the first clue that a makeover is clearly underway. And spoiler alert: it’s not a fresh coat of lime paint. Word on the street is that El Taco is folding faster than a soft-shell tortilla and making way for an revamped —LT Burger (not sure if they’re actually keeping the name). Yep, they’re shelving the tacos and tequila and going back to burgers and fries. It’s a full circle moment, or should we say a full patty comeback. Apparently, they couldn’t taco the pressure. Forgive me while I add one final comment on this makeover, maybe add some smiles to the staff and management.

More food news: Gurney’s Montauk is shaking things up this summer with the debut of not one, but two new dining spots. Coming early summer 2025, they’ll unveil gigi’s montauk—yes, all lowercase, because it’s casual but make it fancy. Billed as their new flagship, gigi’s promises New-American fare where “coastal charm meets seasonal innovation” and menus inspired by the sea and local ingredients. Meanwhile, a more laid-back café called Dune will serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner—perfect for post-beach bites or a pre-spa latte. But while Gurney’s is riding the rebranding wave, it’s hard to ignore the fact that Scarpetta, once their culinary crown jewel, has since taken up very stylish residence at the Maidstone Inn in East Hampton. Will gigi’s make the same splash? Or is it just another tide rolling in? Time—and reservations—will tell.

Get ready, Hamptons commuters—traffic on County Road 39 is about to get a major remix. Starting Monday, April 21, and running for two weeks, Southampton Town is rolling out a bold traffic experiment. From 4 to 7 p.m. on weekdays, key intersections between North Main Street and Sunrise Highway will be switching things up: think blinking yellows, steady greens, and absolutely no left turns. That’s right—cross traffic and left turns at Sandy Hollow, Magee, and Tuckahoe Roads are getting the red light (literally), all in the name of easing the eastbound crawl. Police will be out in full force—on the ground and in the air, thanks to drones—making sure no one pulls a sneaky U-turn. If you live on a side street, brace yourself: you’ll need to plan alternate routes and make peace with the right turn. The hope? A smoother, faster commute. The reality? We’ll see and it’s ONLY APRIL!

Paws, Sauce & Applause: Hamptons Heats Up with Two New Pizza Joints and a Doggone Fabulous Pageant

Well, pour one out for Kizzy-T’s—our beloved little East Hampton haunt that managed to serve charm and chow without the side of theatrics. Taking its place? None other than Crazy Pizza, (click here to learn about Crazy Pizza) the flashy import from SoHo, where apparently pizza needs to be served with a show and a manifesto. According to their website, they’re bringing “an Italian oasis” to our quaint village, because what East Hampton really needed was more imported vibes and fewer local gems. While they wax poetic about “bold new flavors” and “elevated culinary visions,” we’re just hoping they don’t charge $45 for a margherita and a round of interpretive dance. Stay tuned, folks—it’s pizza, but make it drama. BTW, friends in the city have given Crazy Pizza some major thumbs up.


As you remember (you do, right?) we have two beloved pups. Bella, a black mixed breed who is now getting on to “dowager” status, and Ralphie, an incredibly dignified beagle. And by “dignified,” I mean “not really.” And not ready for dog shows. Dog agility? Ralphie jumps like a sack of potatoes. Obedience? Ah hahahaha, he’s a beagle. Of course, he is the cutest and bestest boy there is, but it’s hard to tell from a photograph.

Which is why I’m unsure whether we’ll be entering the Inaugural Baron’s Cove Doggie Pageant. Sure, Bella would have Evening Wear locked up, or would have if Chanel Chien hadn’t closed up shop, and Ralphie would win the Swimsuit competition rocking a tiny pair of Vilebrequin trunks, but I don’t want to make my dogs feel as if their only value is their looks.

Of course it’s all for a good cause–Southampton Animal Shelter Foundation. If you can’t make the pageant in person on May 18, ESPN will surely be streaming it later. Click here for more details.

Finally one more bit of pizza news. Pizza Pizza is now part of Cluckman’s on Water Street in Sag Harbor. If you’re looking for a quick slice on the go… this is your spot. It’s good and hearty pizza with an eclectic and large selection of slices. The safe is also friendly and attentive. So give it a try and let me know what you think!

< Cluckman’s Pizza!