Hamptons

Southampton permits are now on Sale… and a peek at some of those MILLION DOLLAR HAMPTONS RENTALS!

Get cha’ permits!

REMINDER OF THE DAY!  Southampton Village beach permits are now on sale!!  The cost is free for residents, $350 for non residents and $250 for “local non-residents.”   What you need;  a valid registration for your car and for locals a copy of your tax bill or lease with 2 utility bills.   This will allow you access to park at Coopers Beach, Cryder Lane, Dune Beach (village residents only), Fowler, Gin Lane, Halsey Neck, Roads G and D, Old Town, Wyandanch and Little Plaines Lane.   If you want complete information I suggest you go to the town website.    I’m also including a bonus link to the TOWN of Southampton permit information page!   Oh summer is in the air!

Art is apparently a very good business.   In the latest recorded transfers,

Artist and real estate investor Fischl

artist Eric Fischl has apparently purchased not one, not two, not three but five properties in North Haven.   The properties located in over the river and through the woods total a little over 3 million dollars.   While I have no idea what Fischl and his wife fellow artist April Gornick will be doing with the property located off Ferry Road, I’m dying to know.  If you have any clue fill me in!  Two two have been residents of Sag Harbor for years and both have matching studios here in the Hamptons.

Well It’s May 1st and that means Memorial Day is right around the corner.   In many parts of the country the calendar is marked by the return of various migratory animals.  Here in the Hamptons it’s marked by the migration of the summer renters! In case you didn’t know, the standard rental period for the Hamptons is Memorial Day to Labor Day.  It’s also the time when all of the “masters of the universe” and “glitterati” of tv and film come to rest their weary heads.     Well if you’ve ever wondered how celebrities like Mariah Carey, Beyonce and others live when they’re hanging with Martha, Howard and Puffy… wonder no longer.   I’ve dug deep and come up with some of my favorite MILLION DOLLAR* HAMPTON RENTALS!*or rentals that can at least be priced in terms of millions, i.e. 1/4 of a million, 1/2 million, 8/10ths of a million!

 

Barking News!!! It’s a doggone good time in the Hamptons!!

Today show reporter Jill Rappaport & friend
I have some “barking news” here!   Two of my favorite Hamptons organizations are getting together in what sounds like a doggone good time!  Bay Street Theatre is partnering with ARF (Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons for  the “Travels with Charley” Dog Walk on Saturday, May 4th at 8:30 am!   Today show host and dog advocate Jill Rappaport will be there as host.   The walk will start at Haven’s Beach in Sag Harbor and finish at Bay Street Theatre.   There will be a “Bagels and Bones” reception immediately after the walk.  I’ll be there because Bella and Russell love bagels!
The walk is obviously a fundraiser that will  cover 5k or a little over 3 miles with a $25 entrance fee.  There will also be a GRAND PRIZE to the person who raises the most money!  Now, just know I will website and ARF’s website.
be the one who raises the most.  YOU GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH THAT?!   If your interested in hanging with Bella, Russell, Jill Rappaport and me you can get more info from Bay Street theatre on their website.
Now it’s a good time to paws and get the latest news on Hamptons real estate as Douglas Elliman released it’s latest “Elliman Report: Hamptons Sales 1Q 2013.”   As you’ve been hearing the market has been brisk the past few months and the new market report confirms it.    2013 started at a rapid pace tail end of the year.   If you want more details you can download a copy of the report from Douglas Elliman.

Finally, some have a bone to pick with the Hamptons and the fact it’s just gotten too darn expensive out here!  Recently I had a chance to sit down with my friend author Stephen Gaines and LTV host and Southampton Press editor Dawn Watson about the state of the Hamptons economy.  Take a look and in the meantime, I’ll stop hounding you with my horrible puns!

 

The weird and wonderful world of Hamptons Real Estate!!! Part 1,324,9897… and some potentially grate I mean GREAT news for Southfork Kitchen!

It boggles my mind sometimes how people think the Hamptons market works and what the agents actually do out here.   The following tales have no particular theme, thread or commonality other than they both make me scratch my head with a big WTF?!    The first hilarious tale I have this week involves an e-mail I received earlier this week.  I think it’s kind of a perennial here on the east end and I call it….

Fast Times and Hamptons High!

Here’s what it said: 
Hey my friends and I are having trouble finding a house available for rent for the weekend of the 20th to 22nd of June and were wondering if you had any eligible houses. It would be around 40 people for two nights. You can reach me at (516) 996-xxxx!

 

Ok, 40 people for 2 nights at the end of June?  Now, I’m not exactly a rocket scientist but something tells me this is a graduation party.   Besides, does anyone really want to stay in a house for two days with 40 people.   I can barely stand when there’s more than 4 in my house and I have plenty of space.    Also there is the part about, “my friends and I are having trouble finding a house.”  REALLY!?!?!?  I’m shocked, doesn’t everyone want 40 people to rent their house for 2 days!?  What could go wrong? By the way, I really wanted to correct the grammatical errors and send it back to the sender, “are you really sure you’re ready to graduate?”

Bad Ideas… 40 people for a two day rental!


War of the Roses – Hamptons Style
A while back I was handling the sale of a property where the owners were going through …. shall I say… a bitter and nasty divorce.   To give you some idea, if they had a baby Solomon would’ve had to cut the kid in two.  There was no middle ground!   But wait, it gets better they were living in the house together until it sold!!!   Yep, it was fun.   Well, one day, we had scheduled an open house and I spoke to the husband and left the wife a message.     I assumed all was well until I arrived and found the wife’s boyfriend parading around the house naked.   As I was putting out my wrap sandwiches for the fellow brokers and prospective buyers said boyfriend informed me “I fell off my bike and scraped my butt, so I can’t wear any pants.”  Hmmmm.   What about a blanket?  Nope, that won’t do it either, the fabric would be irritating.     Can you go into a room and I’ll keep people out of that one?  Sure, that sounds liek a good idea.  Well despite my best warnings a neighbor who was “curious” didn’t listen to me and went into the room!   OMG…SCREEECH!   If only I had foresight to sell tickets!!

Therapy and Miscellaneous Sightings!  
Your broker knows more about you than you think.   Especially if you’re the type that likes to leave everything out in the open.     Some of the things I’ve come across  (I don’t particularly like this part of the job) range from the weird to the gross and the down right crazy.   Now, some were former listings of mine and some were left in the open of houses I have shown for rent and for sale.    Once agin here are some of the wackiest things, in no particular order: condoms new and used (ewwwww), humongous bongs, the book “Toxic Parents,” weird porn dvd’s,  half eaten sandwiches with 3″of mold, phallic toys, lice shampoo (ewwwwwwwwww again),  self portraits on velvet, labeled urns with an entire family on the fireplace mantel, court appearance notices and my personal favorite a geek shrine to C3P0 and R2D2 (literally A SHRINE!).    I really can’t make this stuff up.

 

Southfork Kitchen

Finally a little bit of news that’s a tad more normal.   A change of hands at the Southfork Kitchen in Bridgehampton.    A recent press release announced,  “Glad you made it through the winter of 2013, Southfork Kitchen did not.  We have passed the torch to the next chef, Todd Jacobs who will continue with local, season and sustainable cuisine.  We thank you for your patronage….”  I’m not sure if he’s the same Todd Jacobs but if he is the one I found in Google.. it sounds promising.  According to his bio of Atlantica Restaurant in Long Beach, “Todd Jacobs, chef/owner of Tierra Mar and Atlantica is a graducate of the French Culinary Institute in Manhattan.  He spent six years running the kitchen at the American Hotel which received the Di Rona Award while he was there.”   Sorry Southfork Kitchen but I found your menu, expensive odd and pretentious.   Here’s hoping for new and better things!

Design of the TImes!

So everyday, I have people ask me, “why hasn’t my house rented/sold!?”    While I’ve spoken about things like pricing, marketing and bad agents there is also one that comes up often.  It’s the house that hasn’t had a make over in 20 years.   While there are some savvy home buyers who can see the potential with any house with good bones, most can’t see through the chipping paint, worn out carpeting and dated furniture.

So what can you do to make your home more marketable?  Well you can hire an interior designer or home stager for one.  One of my friends who also happens to be MY home designer Drew McGukin (I may be stylish but my taste in home decor is a bit “off” so I hired him) recently stopped by to discuss what is “in” and what is “out” in home furnishings.   He also gave me some great ideas for what’s in , what’s out and where to get the best bang for your buck!   I hope you find this as fun to watch as I had talking with him…