Putting some Zen in Your Yogurt…. and Surfing for Surf Stats!

 

The Hello Kitty Brothel (google the image you’ll understand) in Sag Harbor better known as Yummlicious is getting some new competition.   Located on Main Street in Sag Harbor at the former Well Nest is “Buddha Berry Frozen Yogurt.”   Billing itself as a waffle and coffee bar  the frozen dessert factory features a solid wall full of contemporary and classic flavors from cookies and cream to old fashioned Chocolate chip mint.   There is also plenty gummy bears, chocolate chips and sprinkles to pile on top and put any spoiled Hamptons child into a diabetic shock!   I mean nothing says healthy like frozen yogurt topped with gummy bears and chocolate!   But wait… or should I say weight….  the frozen yogurt is SELF SERVE and they charge you by the weight!!!   This is pure genius that so why mom and dad are busy texting the yoga instructors and trainers, little Veruka and Spalding (after he gets the foot off the boat) can go to town and force their proud parents to pay the tab.      This is like putting free crappy prizes in Frosted Flakes genius!!!     While I can’t say if the yogurts good or bad, I had no patience to have anyone weigh my cookies and cream so you’ll have to go try it yourself.    They also have a zen yogurt garden too!

Trendy surfers form Montauk!
Meanwhile,  I don’t surf and I have no intention to be shark bait anytime in the near future.  But I know plenty of folks that do and its always great running into them on the beach checking the waves. But here’s a question for my friends who enjoy dressing in Neoprene and hopping into the surf; why not just go on line and check out the conditions online Sufline.   Featuring  live web cams from Main Beach and other local surf spots, boarders (do they call themselves that?)  can also get detailed reports on wind, tides and swell conditions.   Now, isn’t that easier than driving all the way to the beach to check on the surf?     OK, now get off your computer and go hang 10.
Get down tonight!   KC and the Sunshine Band!
Ok, now call me cynical but there is an unintentially humorous interview with K.C. of the Sunshine Band fame over on Hamptons.com.    Now I’m not picking on the poor interviewer who did this one, she probably had no idea who was interviewing.   In a nutshell for those of you who don’t know, they had slew of catchy dance hits in the mid 70’s and had a song on the second album B-side of Saturday Night Fever.  The coffee through the nose moment for me when reading this was, “With so much love for music I wondered why it had been so long since his last album?”   REALLY?  Answer:  Demand… It’s not 1977!!   Now comes the part where I’m nice.   I do have KC and the Sunshine band on my 70’s play list on my I pad and I bet the show this weekend at the Ross School will be an absolute blast with some good retro disco dancing.   If you want tickets to go see one of the “most dynamic front men in music” you can get tickets and information here.    So put on your boogie shoes and get going!  Ewww…. Boogie shoes… gross!

Avoid the Soulpsychos …. Plus, the Latest Threat to Property Values!

While we still lament the departure of Tiffany a few weeks ago. We (royal) are taking solace in the fact that there is actually something cool that took its place.   I mean, it could have been a Kardashian pop-up or worse yet another real estate office!  But alas, that’s not what we got! Instead we have something to make the Hamptons a little more civilized on Saturday and Sunday mornings during the season, Peloton!   OK, what exactly is Peloton?   It’s the cure for the overly aggressive Lululemon wearing…. Range Rover driving… Vitamin water drinking…. Soul Psychos!   Rather than jockeying online to reserve a spot at an overly crowded spin class, you can instead buy one of Peloton’s bikes for about $2000, pay a small monthly membership and join in via-video for one of a dozen or so classes a day live from New York City!    The bikes come with a video screen where you monitor the class and have your stats sent back to the studio, so don’t try reading the paper while you pedal.    They’ll know if your sweating or riding like your grandmother!   I took a look at one of the bikes at the store on Main Street East Hampton and this stuff is cool! But don’t worry, if you’re Internet is slow… thank you Optimum…. you can download and store classes on the monitor’s hard drive!     If you’re curious, take a look at this video.    I know I want one of these!  Here’s the link!
 
Could this be bad for owners of historical homes!

Meanwhile, if your’e fit, you’ll be living longer and if you’re living longer you can protect your property values!  SAYYYYYYY WHAT???!   I kid you not!    As if the real estate market weren’t confusing enough, between potentially rising interest rates and an unpredictable market now you have to worry if someone has died in your home!   OMG!  I can hear it now  “Mrs. Freeling, while my clients love Cuesta Verde, this house is not clear… and my buyers want to offer you 25% off of your asking price!” Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I buy the whole ghost thing.  I’ve only seen one in my life and that was after taking an ambien with a margarita!    If you think I’m joking, check out the website DiedinHouse.com!    I know it’s a very catchy name, right?  Its kind of like listing your home on overpricedgarbageforsalebyowner.com!

Finally, some new restaurant reports coming later in the week!   Plus…. go see Conviction at Bay Street Theater!   Some of the best performances of any show on any stage anywhere!

 

TRENDS: Mushroom for Improvement…. Personal Chefs Not Just for the Uber Wealthy!

As a child of Lithuanian, Scotch, Irish heritage the idea of a good home cooked meal was as mysterious as the pyramids.   My mother much to her credit worked as a real estate agent in the 70’s (in my view a pioneer back then) and would come home throw a steak on the grill and kill it ten times over!   I would dream, hope and pray that she would get stuck working late and instead opt to buy me a Swanson or Libby Land TV Dinner. (see below if you don’t remember).   Ahhh the simple life…  where the only other option was perhaps dining out (Perkins Pancakes was a favorite) at a local restaurant.     The idea of actually having someone else come to our house to cook was something far out of consideration and reserved for people like the Carringtons or the Ewings!    But the times they are a changing’!

 

A cheaper alternative but less results!

Something I’ve noticed in the past few years among renters, friends and associates is the growing request for personal chefs.    One client who doesn’t want their name mentioned specifically cited the difficulty in not only getting reservations on a summer weekend but the simple fact that getting from home to wherever is more difficult than sitting through Russell Crowe’s performance as Noah!   OK, they didn’t make the Noah reference but they did say it’s a pain in the butt to drive in town.

Also, with more diners having to adhere to diet restrictions due to such things as food allergies or even vegetarian guidelines, hiring a personal chef certainly makes it easier.    One personal chef I spoke with said while he’s “not exactly sure if the average Joe is hiring them just yet,” people who a few years ago wouldn’t normally have thought of hiring a personal chef are jumping the bandwagon.
While prices vary, one chef I spoke to Dominic Ohrlich who was trained at Culinary Institute in Hyde Park said it varies for the occasion but average costs are about $500 to $800 a day.    While not exactly chump change, it would probably cost you the same to go to dinner with friends and get a muffin at Round Swamp Farm.   If you’re curious, you can visit Dominic’s site at www.privatechefforhire.com!

Meanwhile, if you’re bored this weekend (the weather is supposed to be lousy) you might want to consider heading over to Bay Street Theatre where Conviction is having it’s world premiere.    According the to the blurb,  it’s a delicately balance, beautifully nuanced family drama that digs deep
beneath the surface of a happy suburban existence.      The show stars American Horror Story’s Sarah Paulson who I thought stole the movie “Down with Love.”   If you want more information or tickets visit Bay Street’s website here!    I haven’t seen it yet but from what I hear it’s one of the theater’s best productions in years!

 

A Tale of Two Restaurant Openings…. Plus, Everyone Really Is A Critic!

Ok, the dust has settled and we’re back to a calmer and more civilized Hamptons, well up until July 4th weekend anyway.    That being said, I’m exhausted the guest, the traffic and the difficult cocktail conversation.  “Yes, I heard that Saint Barth’s is not what it used to be.”  Oi vey!  But other than the buzz about where everyone else went and where I didn’t there were a few topics that seemed to be on everyone in the Hamptons lips.   The state of the real estate market on the east end and what new restaurants have come to town!    But if you thought today’s blog was going to be about the market, you would be wrong!    I’m going to spill the beans on the two biggest openings of the last week!

Now, while I didn’t go to any restaurants this past weekend I do have sources that braved the openings of two highly anticipated new restaurants in Sag Harbor; Doppio and Harlow.   The menus and pedigree of both are very different and the reaction to both was pretty much the same…. VERY DIFFERENT!

Harlow which arrives in town with very high expectations opened it’s doors recently.   Located at the

A rough start?   But oh what a view!

old B.Smith’s location on Long Warf, it comes from one of the partners of the infamous Nobu and already has one location in the city.     Billed as similar to their city outlet with a more “low key East End atmosphere,” the restaurant will none the less attract a similar crowd with offerings such as their signature oyster bar.   So,  was it a home run?   Well according to  friends of mine who went this past Saturday, it was a more of a strike out.   They described the restaurant as a complete “cluster f***!”  In spite of having reservations they were put off not 1…. but 2 hours before they called it quits and headed off to The Cuddy instead!    They said the staff was also very surly and I’ve also heard mentions about the bathrooms not working and patrons having to go down the block.    So as you can tell, I have no reports on the food just yet!

Now, I get it!  It’s Memorial Day weekend and you got slammed and we’ll give you some time to get your bearings.   But then again, it’s not like you didn’t know it was going to be a crowded holiday weekend!    We’ll check back in a few weeks and see how they do especially since it is one of THE best locations on the east end and the menu looks really impressive.

Doppio is up an running!

Meanwhile, down the street at the home of the former Madison and Main the folks at Doppio apparently got off to a very auspicious start.   Billed as an artisan bistro, the restaurant with the
“dopey” sounding name obviously came to town ready to do business.    I’m hearing  the crew in Sag Harbor is a well oiled machine with good food and good friendly service!    Let’s hope they can keep up the good work!    The last thing in the world I wanted on the east end was another Italian restaurant but Doppio sounds like its worth the trip!

Speaking of customers and their restaurant experiences, if you ever want a good laugh look no further than some of the reviews for Hamptons restaurants on YELP!    Now, I know sometimes people are just plain pains in the butt and that’s why I take the caveat here, I didn’t write these comments, I’m just reporting them.   I mean, god forbid people do online reviews of this blog!   I can hear them now; “How can you not know the difference between they’re and there.”   “You have all the wrong punctuation.”   “Lousy spelling.”   Yeah, well you know what….  lighten up Frances, it’s a blog not the New York Times!    I know I’m not Tom Wolfe but at least I’m no Bret Easton Ellis!   So anyway, here are some of my favorites that had me squirting my Sauvignon Blanc through my nose!    But more importantly it proves my point Hampton diners are sometimes hard to please!

Pierre’s Bridgehampton:  While the over all rating for Pierre’s was 3 out of 5 Stars, there were a few scathing remarks that have not doubt been responsible for a dent in their status.   TB from Manhattan said on 7/22/13 “below average food, fighting cougars…. and beyond obnoxious.”    Is a restaurant full of cougars a bad thing?

Calvin from NYC wrote on 8/30/13 “Too arrogant!  French man…. Do not give them a credit card for reservations and the reservation never on time.”   Well Calvin,  if you can own a credit card you can obviously afford to buy a verb.  Calvin you are a stupid American!

Sant Ambroeus, Southampton:  Overall they got 4 out of 5 stars, so why not 5?   Well, TF from Atlanta wrote on 6/12/13, “I tipped a very small amount because of poor service – about 10% but later on my credit card statement I noticed that they ignored the tip amount I wrote and “updated it to 18%.”  Sorry TF, zeros and 8’s look so similar it’s an honest mistake.  Maybe they were just agreeing with you and put another zero on top of your zero!?  See… it can happen!

Well apparently service with attitude is their biggest issue.   Christy G from Greenwich Ct. wrote on 7/7/13 “if you don’t walk in dripping in gold and Versace they assume you shouldn’t be there.”   While S.P. from Denver, CO. wrote 4/14/12 “why give a wine list if you ‘re never coming back to take the order.”   When in Rome you two!

LT Burger, Sag Harbor:   3 out of 5 Stars.   Josh M. from Manhattan wrote on 1/28/14 that he “wouldn’t go there if my eyebrows were on fire and the place had the only water in Sag Harbor.”    I guess he didn’t like it?

Trust me they get better but I’m trying to be nice here guys!    Some comments involve bad food and cases of Montezuma’s revenge!    All I can say is it’s rough out there!

Old Stove Pub, Sagaponack: 2 out of 5 Stars.   Michael S. from New York wrote on 8/23/13… “If you enjoy sea bass that smells like a soiled diaper served, eventually, by a shiftless and competent waiter than this is your joint!”

In the age of social media EVERYBODY IS A CRITIC!