ANSWERING SAG’S KNEAD FOR DOUGH… AND IT’S THE ____ OF THE HAMPTONS.

I hope it doesn’t sound too too cheesy,  but I’ve been working on some snappy lines about the newest restaurant to open its doors in Sag Harbor.    Yes, I know I need to work on my delivery.    Anyway, for now I’ll just give you a piece of my mind about Sag Pizza.

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11am and they’re lining up!

Located in the site of the former Conca D’oro (they even kept the sign),  the newly renovated and sleekly designed restaurant opened it’s doors to a hungry horde earlier today.   Perhaps it’s because it’s from the same folks that brought us LT Burger that had them lining up outside an hour before a single pie was tossed.   So, how is it?   I thought it was pretty darn good, especially since they were only opened for about an hour.    While I heard some grumbling about having to wait in line to get a slice, it’s the first day folks!   I’m sure they know there’s mushroom for improvement and given the folks running the place,  they’ll get there soon enough.   Now, to the really important part… the food itself.    I had a slice of the margherita and one of the pepperoni.   Both were made with fresh mozzarella and sauce on a thin crust that was nicely complimented by a slight smoky

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Sagpizza.com

flavor from the wood burning oven.   Overall, a solid slice and a welcome addition to Sag Harbor.      If you want more menu information, click on the restaurants website here.    Let me know what YOU think.

You know how when you go to any town in the U.S. and the locals have a funny way of referring to their community,   you know like in Bayonne you’ll meet someone and they’ll tell you how “people call us the Paris of New Jersey!”    Hmmm, while I’m not sure I usually agree with these analogies I will tell you, I do have a few of my own about certain things in the Hamptons.    In fact, I asked some of my friends if they had some quaint ways to refer to the sites and sounds of the Hamptons.   Here are a few of my favorites:

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Madison and Main

Madison and Main Sag Harbor is the 42nd and Broadway of the Hamptons.    With pedestrians that don’t look, drivers who don’t know how to drive and more cars than these two streets can handle,  I can see it.      Hit that intersection on a Saturday at 7pm in July and August and you’ll be looking for the dirty Elmo to come take his picture with your kids for $5.

Stop and Shop stores are the DMV of the Hamptons.  Perhaps it’s the long lines.    It could also be the parking lot that’s full with the mayhem and madness of novice drivers.  Maybe it’s the cranky cashiers or maybe it’s the fact you really don’t want to buy the produce at either that this comparison makes sense.   Either way, I’m not a fan of either and they apparently bought their dingy lighting from the same place.

Gucci pants, shoes, shirt and an Hermes belt are the Garanimals of the Hamptons.    Remember those kids who used to eat the glue in 3rd grade?    The ones who were lucky enough to have their mother tell them to always make sure they wear a giraffe pants with a giraffe shirt?!   Well some of them grew up and now live in the Hamptons.   Yes, t

hermes
It matches!!!!

hey’re here and still dressing with the same amount of thought as they did when they were in phonics class.    It’s a thoughtless uniform but with a more expensive flair.     By the way, I would wear these Garanimals too if I had the money to spare.

Tesla is the Honda of the Hamptons.   If you live in a normal part of the world you go out to dinner, the movies or wherever and you park in a lot that’s probably Honda heavy.    It’s a good car.  It’s a sensible car.    It’s also the vehicle, 90 percent of your friends drive in the rest of the world.    Well this isn’t Cherry Hill here.    It’s the Hamptons.    Yes, sensible has a different look here on the East End.    But hey, I do like these cars.   I’m not knocking them.   BUT, if only there was a supercharging station closer than Southampton.

Amagansett is the Tribeca of the Hamptons.    It’s young, it’s hip, it’s loaded with celebs, it’s trendy and the coffee shops are so hip they hurt!    I hope I don’t need to explain this further.     If you don’t believe me, stop by Jack’s coffee anytime from now to Labor day.   Oh, and if you ever see a guy wearing gap khaki shorts and a polo shirt who stands out like a sore thumb in town…. that’s me.

 

 

 

 

DISCOUNT DINING ON THE EAST END… PLUS, WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TILL EXIT 70.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s starting to look a lot like spring in the Hamptons.    Are the trees budding?   Have the lilies bloomed?   NO!   Traffic is picking up.   There are more cars today than there were last weekend and probably more next week.    One of the other rites of spring is also here, “RESTAURANT WEEK.”     From March 26th to April 2nd, a select number of eateries will be celebrating “East End Restaurant Week.”   I’m not sure how this IS different than “Hamptons Restaurant Week”….. but…..  many of the names are similar.   Fresno, Nick and Toni’s and Service Station in East Hampton, Le Charlot and Union Cantina in Southampton and Page, Wolffer Kitchen and Barons Cove in Sag Harbor are a few of the participating eateries.

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Zucchini Chips at N&T’s!

For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details. For a complete list of where to chow you can click here for the details.

Speaking of Union Cantina in Southampton..  I recently stopped by for dinner and was pleasantly surprised.   I went when they first opened and was initially underwhelmed.

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Deconstructed Enchiladas

Luckily, I decided to give them another shot.      You should too.    We started with what I assume are the homemade chips and guacamole,  very solid.   After that,  I had the “deconstructed” enchiladas, house salad and tortilla soup.    All were delicious with a little heat but not overwhelming.      The service was good… not great but good.   It could be that I was there on a snowy night and nobody really felt like working.   I know I didn’t feel like cooking on a snowy night!    We all love a snow day.    Anyway, I would say try for yourself and let me know if you agree.    Oh, the margaritas are definitely worth trying too…. not too sweet with a good kick.

Are we there yet??????  Are we there yet?    Well, I’m already here …. out of the traffic suckas!    But while you haul your buts… or is it butts… out here in the

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This just screams fun!  Unlike Sea World where there are just screams.

next few weeks there’s something new along the LIE!   I know…  excitement on the expressway!   No longer do you need to ignore your kids and spouses and declare they, “hold it in until exit 70.”     You now have the Long Island Visitors at Exit 52!   That nearly 18 exits sooner!!!  Yes, I’m good at math… I took Calculus 101 twice!     Anyway, “THE” answer is yes… they are clean bathrooms.    Plus, they have a a market featuring long island specialties and some fine cups of coffee too.    But for me, I had a whale of a good time just walking into the place (see photo).   It’s almost as fun as Sea World but nobody gets eaten by the giant fish!

 

 

RECON FROM HARBOR MARKET AND THE BEST OF OVERPRICED HAMPTONS!

The New Harbor Market!

Hi all, just remember Hamptons Chatter is not a daily, a weekly or any other type of regular anything.  I also refuse to take any sort of literary Metamucil!   I only speak when I feel inspired to speak, when the muses have touched me or when something around town really pisses me off.    So guess what? The muses haven’t touched me but I am a little…. wait no negativity here either.   I need to breathe.   Hmm.   OK now for the not angry edition of Hamptons Chatter or as Curbed.com editors have been known to call this “HC.”    I can live with that… HC!

Well, I finally had the chance to go the new Harbor Market and Kitchen in Sag Harbor to see if all the fuss and arguing was worth it.  Well, here I am to tell you it was much ado about nothing!   The place looks fantastic, beautiful barn doors, cedar shingles and the whole exterior of the place is totally in keeping in with the neighborhood aesthetic.     The food by the way, is also pretty good especially the pizzas but only order when you’re not in a hurry.   As for the much feared industrial sounds coming from the roof and the awful unattractive roof…. well it’s pretty damn quiet and its way more attractive than that house on 114 that looks like it’s being built for the Munsters or the hideous colors radiating from Yummilicious!   Not that I don’t love Yummilicious.

I don’t know the owners of the market but I can tell you they’ve had their hands full battling to open the market… remember this is the same street where panties were twisted over a huge pair of legs…. but there efforts have paid off.    The interior is beautiful and the sandwiches, salads and the macaroni and cheese are pretty good too!    So go, check it out and decide for yourself…. and decide if the world really changed that much on Henry Street!?

But you know different things find different things offensive.     What do I find offensive??????   Some of the prices we are forced to pay here around town in the Hamptons!  Here is my brief list of some of the worst offenders.  Now remember, I don’t mind paying big bucks for the guacamole at Round Swamp Farm because it’s amazing.   What I do resent is mediocre products at premium prices. But remember, this is not an angry blog.  I’m staying positive.   So here are some of the most positively overpriced items I can think of on the East End…. 2015 Edition!

No supersizing here – Sanscerre that is Sen-sationally expensive!!

Sen Restaurant – This Sag Harbor establishment is always packed and I get it.   The food is good but a dinner for two with a few glasses of wine and some sushi shouldn’t cost nearly $300 bucks!    Well, part of it might have been the very stingy pours of Sancerre wine, I’m convinced that I the owner or manager was inspecting before going to the waiting tables.  REALLY? It’s a $14 dollar glass of wine… you’re not going to lose money if they give some lucky diner an extra ouce!    It will be a long time before I go to Sen again, instead I’ll head to Zokkon in East Hampton which is a fraction of the cost and just as good.   It’s also never packed there…. but it should be… great food and friendly prices!

Any Taxi in the Hamptons – I recently went from the Hampton Jitney to BMW in Southampton.   How far was that?  What 300 yards?!  It cost me nearly $20 dollars because it was a flat rate. Apparently that is for all cabs across the board… or so I’m told   Now before you all go saying I’m lazy and should have walked, I had a ton of luggage.   But really… $20?!  I could have taken a cab from the Upper East Side to Midtown for less.   But hey, it’s the Hamptons where some take the motto “if you have to ask the price then you shouldn’t be here!”

Babette’s East Hampton –  How much would you pay for a Western Omelette?     How about $18.95 at this Village eatery.   There really isn’t much to say here… I mean it’s an omelette!    Instead of getting eggs here, how about getting the same dish at Princess Diner for $9.95.   By the way, what’s with the .95 cents, is it some sort of weird egg law or tax?   For crying out loud people, say what it is for real;  $10 and $19.

East Hampton and Southampton Parking Tickets – Go to the beach without a permit or park on one of the lanes and you’re going to get slapped with a $150 parking ticket.   Yup, that’s like getting two California Rolls and a glass of wine at a certain restaurant!  By the way, don’t try messing with any of the brownies – the kids that write the tickets… nothing to do with Tate’s or Round Swamp Brownies…. wait I’m hungry!   OH, don’t mess with the kids writing tickets in any of the villages, they may be taking their SAT’s in the fall but these kids do not fool around!

Well, I’m back to pure happy thoughts now!    So I’m done writing.

 

 

 

Snowpocalypse… Snowmageddon….. Blizzard ’15. Here are the pictures!

OK, so this is a good transition blog for me.   I took some time off to recharge my creative juices.     So look for a new blog tomorrow.  I promise.  In the meantime, I took a drive around town so you don’t have to go outside.

Yes……. I have to include Bella and Russell!