A FEW REASONS WHY 2024 WASN’T SO GREAT!

It’s been far too long since I last posted, and my brain feels like an overstuffed suitcase of annoyances I can’t zip shut. Before I can move forward, I need to vent and get the most maddening trends of 2024 off my chest. From the annoying to the infuriatingly bad, the Hamptons delivered its usual cocktail of glamour and absurdity this year. But some moments just demand a proper takedown. So, let’s dive into the highs, the lows, and the eye-roll-worthy trends (I won’t even bring up the “Housewives” of the Hamptons) that need to be unpacked before I can clear my head and move on.

WORST FASHION TREND OF 2024: There’s nothing quite like spotting a city slicker decked out in head-to-toe designer gear, accessorized with an Amber Waves Farm hat, as if they just finished milking cows instead of sipping a $30 rosé. Newsflash: it doesn’t make you look cool, and it definitely doesn’t make you look earthy. That hat isn’t a shortcut to farm-to-table authenticity—it’s a neon sign flashing “I’m trying too hard.” The vibe isn’t rustic charm; it’s urban douchebaggery with a side of performative granola. No offense to Amber Waves btw… love the place and yes i have the hat but with a Brunello Cucinelli outfit head to toe is more than I can stomach. If you want to buy a hat but promise not wear it with Prada shirt… click here!

Worst Food Trend – There’s a troubling craze in the Hamptons dining scene: restaurants with way too much attitude. You know the type—where snagging an 8 o’clock reservation feels like winning the lottery, only to arrive and find your table isn’t ready. But wait, don’t even think about sliding up to the bar for a drink to kill the time because those spots are apparently “reserved” for people with a reservation. Make it make sense! While I’ll spare actually naming the offenders , let’s call out that place in Sag Harbor for leading the charge. This might fly in NYC, where the vibe thrives on exclusivity, but in the Hamptons? It’s just pretentious—and honestly, exhausting. Honorable mention: XXXXX on Shelter Island for too much attitude.

Worst Media Trend – Another bad trend taking over the Hamptons? Those endless “Top 10” lists. Every publication, website, and influencer under the sun is churning them out, all vying for ad dollars. And surprise, surprise—guess who always makes the cut? The store, the landscaper, designer, plumber, pizza place, and yes, even real estate agent who happens to advertise with them. Shocking, right? My inbox is constantly bombarded with these “best of” compilations, and honestly, I take them with a grain of salt. The only time I really perk up and pay attention? When I’m on the list. Funny how that works.

Worst Landscaping Trend – The Hamptons has a sign problem—everywhere you look, there’s another one cluttering the landscape. Yes, we’re all used to the sea of real estate signs, but what about the ones for builders, designers, landscapers, and politicians that seem to take up permanent residence? Most real estate agents at least have the decency to take their signs down as soon as a property sells, but if the house sold three years ago, why is the designer’s sign still camped out front? This is supposed to be a bucolic retreat, a break from the hustle and bustle of city life—not a patchwork of advertisements making it look more like Long Island City.

Now that I’ve aired my grievances and taken aim at some of the more annoying trends plaguing the Hamptons, I feel like I can finally exhale. Consider it a little housecleaning for the soul—a necessary purge to clear the way for a brighter, more positive outlook. Yes, I know, I’m a bit of a Grinch. But hey, even the Grinch had a change of heart, and so can I. With the venting out of the way, I’m ready to turn my focus to the good stuff ahead: the moments of charm, beauty, and joy that make this place special. Here’s to a fresh start and a year worth celebrating—minus a few extra signs and attitude-filled bars, of course.

Spring Clean Up Time…. and are you Dirty Dining??!

“Spring has sprung, the grass has riz’.  I wonder where the birdie is?   The little bird it’s on the wing.  No that’s absurd the little wing is on the bird”  – Curly Howard

Yes, spring is beginning to poke its head in the Hamptons.   That of course means time to get your  house and home ready for the avalanche of new friends and guests that seem to appear about the same time as the tulips and daffodils bloom!     But as we all know, those bulbs and flowers don’t bloom themselves.   A beautiful garden takes prep!  It also requires a spring clean up and recently I discussed this very topic with the talented and affable Frederico Azevedo from Unlimited Earth Care in Bridgehampton.     Here are some of his basic suggestions to make sure you have a house beautiful!

Speaking of seasonal clean ups, there are a few food establishments on the East End that need to get their acts together.   In case you missed the headlines, there has been quite a stir in the city lately with the home of the “cronut” Dominique Ansel bakery... (I’ll have cronut hold the Mickey please)…. and Per Se having lots of drama with health inspectors.    So that got me thinking (yes occasionally that happens),  “Self,  are the restaurants in the Hamptons clean?”

This is a better image then seeing a mouse in a kitchen, right?

While it would be great to see those grades on windows like they have in the city, no such thing exists in Suffolk County. So naturally that means you need to go on the web and do some snooping of course!  Now, I’m happy to report that while all my favorite establishments have received a clean report card, there are others in the Hamptons that weren’t so lucky.  So what are some of the violations?  Well, not to gross you out but apparently inspectors found everything from moldy cheese, improperly stored fish and poultry, uncovered rodent bait stations to some employees who don’t like washing their hands!!!     So, who were the guilty parties?  I’ll never tell you need to go the link here and see for yourself.   Be careful,  you might not like what you find!!!

Hub Bub over Shrubs… and Forget the Scientologists There’s a New Cult in Town!

The scene of the crime!!!

Well, we’re all feeling it… tensions are at a boiling point in the Hamptons.    Yes, it costs some folks a lot of money to live here and they just want have some fun.     But apparently some cheap kill joy is ruining the fun for one homeowner in the Hamptons!   What are they doing?!  Well I think the photo here says it all.   Landscaping here isn’t cheap and this proves it.   Personally if I were the home owner, I would just plant some poison ivy around all of my valuable plantings.  Now, if anyone wants to write the police blotter for this crime, I’m taking suggestions!

Cult or fitness movement!?

Speaking of tensions the cult that is known as Scientology  er, I mean Soul Cycle is continuing its plans to dominate the universe.  Their latest conquest is now in the Water Mill shopping center.  Yes, the home of Citarella, Water Mill Cupcakes, Avanti Market, Blockbuster Video and Muse Restaurant will now be the newest location for Soul Cycle.     Apparently someone read my blog and has decided to open an outlet with ample parking.    I do have one bit of advice for anyone opening a business in that shopping center;  burn some sage and higher a witch doctor, that place is cursed!   By the way, I really do miss Water Mill Cupcakes!