real estate.

17,500 Reasons why the Kardashians Kame to the Hamptons…. plus it’s Totally 80’s Time at the Talkhouse!

The Klassiest Kids in Town!?

In case you’ve been living under a rock the Hamptons are buzzing with the comings and goings … or should I say Komings… ugh… no … comings and goings of the Kardashians.   If you don’t believe me go to Google and search “Kardashian Hamptons” and you’ll get about 17,500 news articles come up.   Meanwhile search “Hamptons Deer Cull” and you get 2 articles.   I’m so glad we have our priorities straight! Anyway, while you read about “13 Hot Spots Too Classy for the Kardashians” or even “9 Things to Know about their Summer in the Hamptons,”   I’m going to add one more tid-bit to the mix.   I’m hearing via the grapevine that producers for the show….. are not only asking to see if they can shoot in local restaurants and get all the patrons to sign releases but that they’re also allegedly asking to get it for free!      Their claim is that their show has done a lot to help businesses increase traffic and everyone should be thrilled to have KK-K shoot in their restaurant.    SO, how is it going?   My sources say not so good.   The “K’s” are going after spots that are already hot and don’t need “Z” list celebrities to promote their business.   Think about it, do you really think the Hamptons A list need an endorsement from the Kardashians?    I’m sure Jerry Seinfeld and Gwyneth are both waiting with baited breath to see where they’ve decided to dine!   By the way, let’s also be real here.. .they’re living in NOYAC…. not Southampton… I’m dying to know if they’ve made it yet to Cromer’s for some fried chicken or mac and cheese!?

In honor of throwback Thursday, I’m doing a little plug for Stephen Talkhouse this weekend.  One of the best and underrated bands from the 1980’s is playing tomorrow night.   Yes, the English Beat featuring Dave Wakeling is coming to town.   I’ve seen the band here a few times over the past few years and in a way, it’s kind of a perennial.    Playing all their hits including “I Confess, Mirror in the Bathroom, Save it for Later” and even a few General Public songs (Wakeling was basically the heart of both bands), the show is amazing.  I think I’m too old to go to an arena and see anyone.     But the intimate setting of The Talkhouse makes for a really memorable night.    You can buy tickets here ahead of time and in case you don’t know the band, here’s one of my favorite songs by them… trust me you should go!

Can you hear me now??! Plus, Patrons see Red at Stix!

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of being invited to a friend’s wedding in Montauk.    It really was a beautiful reception but the reception at the reception was terrible!   But hey anyone who has spent more than one day in the Hamptons can tell you that.   Its not that I was being rude or doing work but I was trying to upload photos to the old FB and it was a cellular wasteland!  Ironically, after noticing a black fly in my chardonnay, I realized I just got back from a trip to Ireland where in the middle of nothing but sheep and pubs there were at least 3 bars and 4 pubs at all time!   It was a great trip!
So where in the Hamptons are the dead zones?  Well I started taking note and I’m here to share.   So if you’re driving or hanging out east and your boss calls you, if you study my map you can say for example, “I’m driving on Scuttle Hole Road and I’m about to lose you,”  even if you’re in East Hampton Village.   I have ATT and the dead areas are noted by the “A”… Verizon is noted by the “V” and came after consulting a friend.   Just remember, this is just from OUR experience and maybe our  I phones are at fault.  We don’t want no trouble from anyone!
V is Verizon dead zone, A is ATT!

 

The crowd at Red Stix!

Meanwhile, as we stand on the verge of getting another Asian restaurant in the Hamptons (see yesterday’s blog which Curbed already wrote about) the news about the latest entry is mixed at best.   Last week I stopped by with some friends at the very expensive and very crowded Red Stix.  While I can tell you they’re doing gang busters, there were a few frustrated patrons who decided an hour and a half was too long to wait for their stir fry!   The table next to us high tailed it out of there after waiting, while we stuck it out.   Suffice to say, the food was good…. actually very good.  But if you’re going to charge those prices you better get the food out on time!  That’s just my opinion.

 

Avoid the Soulpsychos …. Plus, the Latest Threat to Property Values!

While we still lament the departure of Tiffany a few weeks ago. We (royal) are taking solace in the fact that there is actually something cool that took its place.   I mean, it could have been a Kardashian pop-up or worse yet another real estate office!  But alas, that’s not what we got! Instead we have something to make the Hamptons a little more civilized on Saturday and Sunday mornings during the season, Peloton!   OK, what exactly is Peloton?   It’s the cure for the overly aggressive Lululemon wearing…. Range Rover driving… Vitamin water drinking…. Soul Psychos!   Rather than jockeying online to reserve a spot at an overly crowded spin class, you can instead buy one of Peloton’s bikes for about $2000, pay a small monthly membership and join in via-video for one of a dozen or so classes a day live from New York City!    The bikes come with a video screen where you monitor the class and have your stats sent back to the studio, so don’t try reading the paper while you pedal.    They’ll know if your sweating or riding like your grandmother!   I took a look at one of the bikes at the store on Main Street East Hampton and this stuff is cool! But don’t worry, if you’re Internet is slow… thank you Optimum…. you can download and store classes on the monitor’s hard drive!     If you’re curious, take a look at this video.    I know I want one of these!  Here’s the link!
 
Could this be bad for owners of historical homes!

Meanwhile, if your’e fit, you’ll be living longer and if you’re living longer you can protect your property values!  SAYYYYYYY WHAT???!   I kid you not!    As if the real estate market weren’t confusing enough, between potentially rising interest rates and an unpredictable market now you have to worry if someone has died in your home!   OMG!  I can hear it now  “Mrs. Freeling, while my clients love Cuesta Verde, this house is not clear… and my buyers want to offer you 25% off of your asking price!” Now, I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I buy the whole ghost thing.  I’ve only seen one in my life and that was after taking an ambien with a margarita!    If you think I’m joking, check out the website DiedinHouse.com!    I know it’s a very catchy name, right?  Its kind of like listing your home on overpricedgarbageforsalebyowner.com!

Finally, some new restaurant reports coming later in the week!   Plus…. go see Conviction at Bay Street Theater!   Some of the best performances of any show on any stage anywhere!

 

TRENDS: Mushroom for Improvement…. Personal Chefs Not Just for the Uber Wealthy!

As a child of Lithuanian, Scotch, Irish heritage the idea of a good home cooked meal was as mysterious as the pyramids.   My mother much to her credit worked as a real estate agent in the 70’s (in my view a pioneer back then) and would come home throw a steak on the grill and kill it ten times over!   I would dream, hope and pray that she would get stuck working late and instead opt to buy me a Swanson or Libby Land TV Dinner. (see below if you don’t remember).   Ahhh the simple life…  where the only other option was perhaps dining out (Perkins Pancakes was a favorite) at a local restaurant.     The idea of actually having someone else come to our house to cook was something far out of consideration and reserved for people like the Carringtons or the Ewings!    But the times they are a changing’!

 

A cheaper alternative but less results!

Something I’ve noticed in the past few years among renters, friends and associates is the growing request for personal chefs.    One client who doesn’t want their name mentioned specifically cited the difficulty in not only getting reservations on a summer weekend but the simple fact that getting from home to wherever is more difficult than sitting through Russell Crowe’s performance as Noah!   OK, they didn’t make the Noah reference but they did say it’s a pain in the butt to drive in town.

Also, with more diners having to adhere to diet restrictions due to such things as food allergies or even vegetarian guidelines, hiring a personal chef certainly makes it easier.    One personal chef I spoke with said while he’s “not exactly sure if the average Joe is hiring them just yet,” people who a few years ago wouldn’t normally have thought of hiring a personal chef are jumping the bandwagon.
While prices vary, one chef I spoke to Dominic Ohrlich who was trained at Culinary Institute in Hyde Park said it varies for the occasion but average costs are about $500 to $800 a day.    While not exactly chump change, it would probably cost you the same to go to dinner with friends and get a muffin at Round Swamp Farm.   If you’re curious, you can visit Dominic’s site at www.privatechefforhire.com!

Meanwhile, if you’re bored this weekend (the weather is supposed to be lousy) you might want to consider heading over to Bay Street Theatre where Conviction is having it’s world premiere.    According the to the blurb,  it’s a delicately balance, beautifully nuanced family drama that digs deep
beneath the surface of a happy suburban existence.      The show stars American Horror Story’s Sarah Paulson who I thought stole the movie “Down with Love.”   If you want more information or tickets visit Bay Street’s website here!    I haven’t seen it yet but from what I hear it’s one of the theater’s best productions in years!