Water Mill – Hamptons Chatter

SOULCYCLE GETS A NEW NEIGHBOR IN WATER MILL! YOU KNOW IT’S SUMMER WHEN….

June 12, 2019

In what’s probably one of the better business moves this summer, Sag Harbor staple Provisions will be adding another location at the former site of Citerella in Water Mill shopping center.

A smart move considering every Saturday and Sunday, the area swarms with Lululemonites loitering after the SoulCycle classes next door. Which means getting a green juice or smoothie just got a lot easier!! Thank the lord…. or at least the owners of Provisions. If you’ve never been to Sag Harbor location, it’s probably one of the best natural food markets anywhere and the organic cafe is always packed!! According to highly placed sources (the guy at the cash register yesterday), the Water Mill location will be opening sometime in Mid-July. While I’m sure it will swamped like their other location, they may want to burn some sage to be safe. It couldn’t hurt to clean some of the possible bad juju that sunk Citarella (in that location), Avanti market (which I loved), West Elm and Blockbuster video (damn you streaming video!)! Anyway, you can check out their website by clicking here for more details.

Well, the calendar says it’s June and the summer season is defintiely upon us. But like the traffic jams on 27 and the blooms of the rhodaden… Roudaden….. Rhodamorgenterns… errrr… RHODODENDRON (like you know how to spell it?) there are other signs that that it’s that time of year in the Hamptons! Here are a few that I always look for…

Wolffer Vineyards becomes the Pumpkin Town of warm weather on Friday Nights! Screaming kids, parents that ignore them, jazz music and cars lining up and down the highway…. all with Summer in a Bottle… it’s beach living at it’s finest!

People are constantly asking every store, restaurant, real estate office and bank for their wifi password! Cell service sucks in the Hamptons…. we all know it. It’s even suckier in the summer! Period. Listen I get it…. it’s isolating and frustrating. But maybe this summer we can try checking our social media accounts when we get home people!? Nahhhh. I hate talking to people in person too!

There’s a stranded German luxury car on the beach! If you drive two days a week for 12 weeks a year, maybe getting a Range Rover or Merced Audibeach9 es G-Class isn’t such a great Mercedeesbeach idea (also other people need parking spaces too!) Try starting with something smaller and easier to handle and perhaps watertight like a VW bug. Just because you have 4 wheel drive doesn’t mean your car is good for beach driving, especially as the high tide is coming!

Restaurant Managers get Amnesia! If you’ve ever seen the movie “What’s Up Doc,” you’ll remember the scene where Madeline Kahn gets dragged out of a banquet by her heels when her fiance says “I’ve never seen this woman before in my life.” Well that’s how more than a few of us feel this time of year when we head out to eat on weekend night. Ummm, I’m the guy who comes in every Monday in October and April and I’m the only one in the place?! Patrick?! No!? Grrrrrr.

Anyway, enough complaining…. I’m loving the warm weather, the calls from my long lost relatives and paying double for everything! It’s summer in the Hamptons everyone!!! Party on!

EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS UPDATE… & MY LIFE BEHIND BARS!

March 30, 2019March 29, 2019

I can feel it! The days are longer and the weekends are getting a little more crowded with city folk looking for their summer retreat. So while we all enjoy the re-leaf of spring and increasing temperatures, it’s actually time for beach lovers to think about Summer! Yep, those coveted East Hampton Village beach passes have been on sale for a

while now and the supplies are running low. According to the folks at the Village Clerk’s offices there are currently less than 200 still available for the Summer ’19 season. But don’t panic if you can’t make it out here to pick up your sticker. You can go online and purchase your pass. If you need the link, click here. Remember, you need the pass to legally park at village beaches after 9 am to 4pm from May 15th to September 15th. I know with the cold damp weather it might not seem like it, but summer is approaching faster than you know.

Sometimes you really wanna go where everybody knows your name. One way to ensure that will happens is to get in on what more and more Hamptons homeowners are discovering, bars are the new media rooms. Yep, you heard me right! It’s something I discovered for myself a few years ago when my partner and I bought our “spec” house in East Hampton. In the family room was a big, bulky and industrial looking wet bar. It felt like my college pub without the broken glass and funky smell. My first thought was to pull the sucker out but after our first get together we noticed this had become the focal point for the party. Eventually, we renovated and changed the bar to its current state (pictured) where it is still the place everybody hangs! It really makes entertaining fun and apparently I’m not the only one who think so. In just the past few months I’ve listed homes both new and old with expansive set ups; wine fridges, sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, etc. But most important of all buyers are looking for homes that have these entertaining centers. I guess it’s all part of what author Faith Popcorn called cocooning. Home is the place to be and people enjoy bringing the outside world into their homes. Now if I could only get my dog to change his name to Norm. Below some of the more impressive (but far from the only) bars currently on the market. It’s a far cry from that 1970s basement version with the budweiser light and shag carpet.

Lower Level entertaining at 633 Hedges Lane, Sagaponack. $9,995,000. Listed by Douglas Elliman… yours truly! Click for more details.

Arts and Crafts coolness at 44 Little Noyac Path, Water Mill. $5,950,000. Listed by Douglas Elliman Joe Piccininni Click Here for more.

Rooftop cocktails at 6 Union Street, Sag Harbor. $7,495,000. Listed by Compass Kathy Zappola & Scott Strough. Click here for details.

CHEERS!!!

MY HOLIDAY GIFT TO YOU! PLUS HARVEY AND THE HAMPTONS!

December 21, 2017December 21, 2017

A321_Frontier__Airlines-680x365_c — This is what a plane looks like. flyfrontier.com

I know the weather outside is getting more and more frightful. In fact, the thought of shoveling driveways, cold wet feet and darkness at 3:30pm has you completely depressed and overwhelmed. I know! I know… I feel you! But before you call the doctor to “up” your daily dosage of “vitamin Z” (zoloft), read this blog. It will bring you comfort and joy. DISCLAIMER: please don’t go off your meds folks, while I’m a joy for my family and at least 2 of my friends, my suggestions here are not meant to be any sort of medical diagnosis so put down the phone. Jacoby & Myers have more important lawsuits pending.

Ok, so what’s my advice to put sunshine back in your life? Go visit flyfrontier.com and book yourself a flight to the sunshine state for as little as $35 dollars! Yes, you heard that right. For about the same cost as taking the jitney to midtown, you can instead haul you butts to Islip Airport (the easiest airport on the planet) hop on a plane and be in West Palm Beach, Miami or Ft. Myers in about 3 hours. So, the ride is about the same amount of time as a jitney as well. I will tell you the flights are no frills and you must pay for any additional baggage (checked, carry-on and emotional). In fact, while I was writing this I just got a quote for a flight from Islip to West Palm in January

for $108 round trip! Now, that doesn’t include taxes or my baggage from growing up as the youngest of 6 in suburban New Jersey. From what I gathered, these rates will likely go up in the not too distant future but in the meantime stop complaining about the weather!

If you’re not lucky enough to have the time or ability to hop on a flight to Florida and are instead heading to the Hamptons, you’re not alone. I call it the “Hurricane Harvey.” Because, for the first time ever, I had multiple rental inquiries for the week between Christmas and New Years! I’m not sure why Mr. Weinstein’s exploits have convinced peopl

e to “staycation” this holiday season but it’s kind of weird considering we also had a hurricane of the same name wipe out more than a few resorts in the Caribbean. Word to the wise here, if you’re planning on being out here the week between the holidays and want to go out to eat, MAKE RESERVATIONS! It’s going to be crowded. It’s traditionally a busy week but a few of my restaurant buddies have said reservations are up over last year.

Speaking of eating out. I mean really eating out. Like outside …. in the cold…

OUTSIDE. You might have noticed a food truck recently on the grounds of the Milk Pail in Water Mill. For those of you not brave enough to stop, I’ve done some snooping for you and discovered it’s a taco truck. It’s called AJI Authentic Mexican Food. Ok, they have more than tacos and the food is pretty good. The hours seem to have a lot to do with if the weather is good and traffic wasn’t too heavy. So if you’re driving east, see the truck and have a hankering for a good taco, burrito or nachos stop by. It’s not the best you’ll ever have but it won’t disappoint and it’s kinda fun!

HATE CROWDS? NO RESERVATIONS?! NO PROBLEM!! A QUICK GUIDE TO HAMPTONS DELIVERY!

February 22, 2017June 3, 2015

One of the things I like least about summer in the Hamptons is the crowds. While I’m not an agoraphobic, the idea of dealing with traffic and pushy patrons is sometimes more than I can handle. Besides, I get extreme guilt leaving my dogs behind… because they like to party as much as the next animal. So, unlike NYC where you can have a cup of coffee delivered for free, finding door to door service out east is a little more difficult. Virtually nobody delivers in the Hamptons. I know White’s Pharmacy delivers… but cough drops and Metamucil don’t quite satisfy my hunger like they should. What do you do when your cupboards are bare, traffic is backed up and everybody is hungry? Well, here’s the skinny on getting chubby without leaving home…..

There are two.. repeat only TWO Chinese restaurants that I think are worth the weight in MSG. Number 1 (631-726-8080) in Water Mill and Pheonix in Wainscott (631-537-0011). There are a few others in the area but one of them actually has Immodium on the menu which to me is a big red flag…OK I’m kidding. While my two recommendations aren’t exactly Shun Lee or Mr. Chow’s, they’re both good, hearty and reasonably priced. My personal favorites are the “scallion pancakes” at Pheonix and the “spicy chicken and broccoli” at #1. Both are the best Chinese delivery in the HAMPTONS! Although, that’s kind of like saying it’s the friendliest restaurant in France.

When it’ comes to Pizza. There are no Domino’s in the Hamptons. Which is a good thing. But darn it, why is it so hard to get a pizza brought to your door on a rainy Saturday night!? Well there are only a few choices for delivery pizza at a good price. In Montauk, you have Sausages (631-668-1144) .. In Bridgehampton there’s American Pie (631-613-6177) in the Commons and Southampton has Paul’s (631-283-1861) and Melrose East. In East Hampton you have Pizza and Things Spring’s Pizza. Customers like it for their reasonable prices, friendly staff and fresh ingredients (631) 324-7974.

Also in East Hampton, the Red Horse Market will deliver groceries or prepared foods with a $100 minimum purchase. I’m pretty sure you can get them to bring one of their pizzas to the door as well. By the way, throw a fresh mozzarella in there for good measure and melt some extra on the pie.

If you’re looking for something a little more exotic you can try Saaz in Southampton. They deliver and according to some, they’ll go all the way to East Hampton. That’s a good thing too since the New York Times raved the food is “uniformly excellent… a long overdue addition to Hamptons dining.” Saaz – (631) 259-2222 – is located just as you come into Southampton on CR 39 at the former site of Mason Ole – where Montezuma always got his revenge! Saaz is a much better welcome to the east end!

While I’m sure there are others that may deliver, this is the list I came up with based on my own personal experience and those I know around town.