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EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS UPDATE… & MY LIFE BEHIND BARS!

I can feel it!  The days are longer and the weekends are getting a little more crowded with city folk looking for their summer retreat.     So while we all enjoy the re-leaf of spring and increasing temperatures, it’s actually time for beach lovers to think about Summer!   Yep, those coveted East Hampton Village beach passes have been on sale for a

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2019 EH VILLAGE BEACH PASS

while now and the supplies are running low.   According to the folks at the Village Clerk’s offices there are currently less than 200 still available for the Summer ’19 season.   But don’t panic if you can’t make it out here to pick up your sticker.    You can go online and purchase your pass.     If you need the link, click here.    Remember, you need the pass to legally park at village beaches after 9 am to 4pm from May 15th to September 15th.   I know with the cold damp weather it might not seem like it,  but summer is approaching faster than you know.

Sometimes you really wanna go where everybody knows your name.   One way to ensure that will happens is to get in on what more and more Hamptons homeowners are discovering, bars are the new media rooms.   Yep, you heard me right!    It’s something I discovered for myself a few years ago when my partner and I bought our “spec” house in East Hampton.     In the family room was a big, bulky and industrial looking wet bar.   It felt like my college pub without the brokgreenhollowbaren glass and funky smell.    My first thought was to pull the sucker out but after our first get together we noticed this had become the focal point for the party.    Eventually, we renovated and changed the bar to its current state (pictured) where it is still the place everybody hangs!    It really makes entertaining fun and apparently I’m not the only one who think so.   In just the past few months I’ve listed homes both new and old with expansive set ups; wine fridges, sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, etc.    But most important of all buyers are looking for homes that have these entertaining centers.   I guess it’s all part of what author Faith Popcorn called cocooning.  Home is the place to be and people enjoy bringing the outside world into their homes.  Now if I could only get my dog to change his name to Norm.   Below some of the more impressive  (but far from the only) bars currently on the market.  It’s a far cry from that 1970s basement version with the budweiser light and shag carpet.

Lower Level entertaining at 633 Hedges Lane, Sagaponack.  $9,995,000.  Listed by Douglas Elliman… yours truly!    Click for more details.

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Arts and Crafts coolness at 44 Little Noyac Path, Water Mill.   $5,950,000.   Listed by Douglas Elliman Joe Piccininni  Click Here for more. 

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Rooftop cocktails at 6 Union Street, Sag Harbor.  $7,495,000.   Listed by Compass Kathy Zappola & Scott Strough.  Click here for details.

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CHEERS!!!

 

5 Hacks for Surviving the Hamptons… plus great beach music!!

The answer for crappy cell service!Click here to buy on Amazon! 

Well this is the home stretch folks and if you’re like me,  the glass is half full.  We have a couple more weeks of summer!!!   Yes, there’s more left of “Summergeddon 16” in the Hamptons and believe it or not, there are a few things you can make these next few weeks more enjoyable.

Get a microcell for your cell phone – One of the biggest complaints people have about being on the east end is that their phones just don’t work.  But it doesn’t have to be the case.  You can go to your local service provider and buy a mini “cell tower” that hooks up to your internet for about $150.   You could also try calling them and see if they’ll cut you some slack and send you one for free.   Sometimes they’ll do that when you’re in a zone with no “mapped” coverage.   It’s bad enough for house guest but Lord knows even locals go nuts with the dead zones out here!

In Southampton behind Chase… plenty of spots!

Learn where to park – Going to dinner, lunch or just picking up a Lululemon shirt can be a nightmare during the height of summer.   Driving up and down main street hoping that you’ll be lucky and be granted a gift by your parking angel.  But what if that Escalade isn’t pulling out for your Mini-Cooper any time soon?   In Southampton Village, haul your four tires around the corner and use the village parking behind the Chase bank and West Main.    In Sag Harbor, during the day try the lot next to Dodds and Eder on W. Water St.   In East Hampton, the Walbaum’s lot is always a nightmare so instead try the lot off Gingerbread Lane Extension (by the YMCA) and cut through Herrick Park to the heart of the village.

Coming and Going –  We all know you don’t leave the Hamptons on Sunday afternoons at 4 pm and you don’t leave the city on Fridays from 11am-5pm… so when are the “optimal” times to make your trek back and forth?  Well since I’m now a full timer out here I had to ask a few of my friends who are citidiot’s to get an answer.  What is the best time to go back and forth to the east end?  The answer; Friday nights around 7pm departure from the city and Monday am at about 8 am departing the Hamptons.  That is of course if you can’t catch the “cannonball” from Penn Station.

Handling Your Hot Car – I’m not sure where I read this but when your car is a 105 degrees and it’s only 80 outside, there’s a simple hack that will cool it off ASAP.  I’m not sure how it works or why but it does. Open the passenger side window and then open and shut the driver side door a few times for about 15 seconds.  I kid you not, your car will be a whole lot cooler.   I failed physics in high school so if there are any geeks out there to explain this, I’m all ears.

See You in September –  Hello, summer doesn’t end till until September 23rd.   I’m letting you know the best kept secret in the Hamptons… SEPTEMBER IS THE BEST MONTH.  You have warm weather, warm water, less crowds and virtually ever shop in town is having a sale!     It’s my favorite time of year out here.    It will be yours too… by the way, all the hotels are cheaper too!

Finally… it’s my blog so suffer.  I want to tell you what I’m listening to this summer.   I can do that!   For some reason I stumbled on the new album from ABC (Look of Love and When Smokey Sings fame).  It’s called The Lexicon of Love II and it’s a “sequel” to their album of the same name which was huge in ’82.   I personally think it’s awesome and it’s great pop music for grown ups.   Take a listen to the clip below.  Yeah they look older but we all do!

 

RECON FROM HARBOR MARKET AND THE BEST OF OVERPRICED HAMPTONS!

The New Harbor Market!

Hi all, just remember Hamptons Chatter is not a daily, a weekly or any other type of regular anything.  I also refuse to take any sort of literary Metamucil!   I only speak when I feel inspired to speak, when the muses have touched me or when something around town really pisses me off.    So guess what? The muses haven’t touched me but I am a little…. wait no negativity here either.   I need to breathe.   Hmm.   OK now for the not angry edition of Hamptons Chatter or as Curbed.com editors have been known to call this “HC.”    I can live with that… HC!

Well, I finally had the chance to go the new Harbor Market and Kitchen in Sag Harbor to see if all the fuss and arguing was worth it.  Well, here I am to tell you it was much ado about nothing!   The place looks fantastic, beautiful barn doors, cedar shingles and the whole exterior of the place is totally in keeping in with the neighborhood aesthetic.     The food by the way, is also pretty good especially the pizzas but only order when you’re not in a hurry.   As for the much feared industrial sounds coming from the roof and the awful unattractive roof…. well it’s pretty damn quiet and its way more attractive than that house on 114 that looks like it’s being built for the Munsters or the hideous colors radiating from Yummilicious!   Not that I don’t love Yummilicious.

I don’t know the owners of the market but I can tell you they’ve had their hands full battling to open the market… remember this is the same street where panties were twisted over a huge pair of legs…. but there efforts have paid off.    The interior is beautiful and the sandwiches, salads and the macaroni and cheese are pretty good too!    So go, check it out and decide for yourself…. and decide if the world really changed that much on Henry Street!?

But you know different things find different things offensive.     What do I find offensive??????   Some of the prices we are forced to pay here around town in the Hamptons!  Here is my brief list of some of the worst offenders.  Now remember, I don’t mind paying big bucks for the guacamole at Round Swamp Farm because it’s amazing.   What I do resent is mediocre products at premium prices. But remember, this is not an angry blog.  I’m staying positive.   So here are some of the most positively overpriced items I can think of on the East End…. 2015 Edition!

No supersizing here – Sanscerre that is Sen-sationally expensive!!

Sen Restaurant – This Sag Harbor establishment is always packed and I get it.   The food is good but a dinner for two with a few glasses of wine and some sushi shouldn’t cost nearly $300 bucks!    Well, part of it might have been the very stingy pours of Sancerre wine, I’m convinced that I the owner or manager was inspecting before going to the waiting tables.  REALLY? It’s a $14 dollar glass of wine… you’re not going to lose money if they give some lucky diner an extra ouce!    It will be a long time before I go to Sen again, instead I’ll head to Zokkon in East Hampton which is a fraction of the cost and just as good.   It’s also never packed there…. but it should be… great food and friendly prices!

Any Taxi in the Hamptons – I recently went from the Hampton Jitney to BMW in Southampton.   How far was that?  What 300 yards?!  It cost me nearly $20 dollars because it was a flat rate. Apparently that is for all cabs across the board… or so I’m told   Now before you all go saying I’m lazy and should have walked, I had a ton of luggage.   But really… $20?!  I could have taken a cab from the Upper East Side to Midtown for less.   But hey, it’s the Hamptons where some take the motto “if you have to ask the price then you shouldn’t be here!”

Babette’s East Hampton –  How much would you pay for a Western Omelette?     How about $18.95 at this Village eatery.   There really isn’t much to say here… I mean it’s an omelette!    Instead of getting eggs here, how about getting the same dish at Princess Diner for $9.95.   By the way, what’s with the .95 cents, is it some sort of weird egg law or tax?   For crying out loud people, say what it is for real;  $10 and $19.

East Hampton and Southampton Parking Tickets – Go to the beach without a permit or park on one of the lanes and you’re going to get slapped with a $150 parking ticket.   Yup, that’s like getting two California Rolls and a glass of wine at a certain restaurant!  By the way, don’t try messing with any of the brownies – the kids that write the tickets… nothing to do with Tate’s or Round Swamp Brownies…. wait I’m hungry!   OH, don’t mess with the kids writing tickets in any of the villages, they may be taking their SAT’s in the fall but these kids do not fool around!

Well, I’m back to pure happy thoughts now!    So I’m done writing.

 

 

 

Holiday Hangover … How to make the Hamptons Happy… Again!

I’m back after the holiday week/weekend.  It wasn’t that I was lying back and taking it easy.   In fact, it continues to be for me along with most real estate agents, one of the busiest seasons in recent memory.    So, I took a breather from the blog and immersed myself in the summer of 2013.

While every year people seem to say the traffic and the crowds are worse than the year before, this year they’re right.  It’s a war out there!   But there is a chance for peace in the Hamptons and I’m making my attempt for a Nobel Peace Prize for my fine work right here with Hamptons Chatter.     So how can we turn our little piece of heaven into a shangri-la?
First of all, you avoid the places that make your blood pressure boil.   Last year, I had one of my most successful blogs ever talking about the most unfriendly places in the Hamptons (Hamptons Hostility 7/13/12).    But this year,  I’ve learned to be more of a “glass is half full” kind of guy.  I’m going to offer solutions for the problems of the east end.   So here they are in no particular order, my “pointers” for making a happier Hamptons.

Terror awaits the hungry diner at Topping Rose!

1)   Improve the Service !   –  Last Monday, I went to the Topping Rose in Bridgehampton.  In case you weren’t aware, this is celebrity chef Tom Colicchio’s new restaurant at the spa and Inn of the same name.   While the food was actually dynamite the service made me want to go postal.   Now, I don’t mind mediocre service when I’m at a…. say… Friendly’s or TGIFriday’s.     But when you’re paying top dollar for the food, you shouldn’t have to wait 50 minutes after your reservation time just to get seated and another 10 minutes to get water! UGH!   I’m sorry throwing a skimpy cheese plate on the house doesn’t compensate for getting dinner at 10:40pm on a 9pm reservation.      Guys, people are spending the bucks on the food and the booze so hire the extra bus person and the extra cook.  Also, it’s not a bad idea to admit you screwed up and not blame it on the other patrons!   Other than the Topping Rose, this is also good suggestion for Serafina (updated… had dinner there tonight… AWFUL service and no air-conditioning) and The Living Room.       By the way, I know none of you are going to listen to me so go try it yourself!

The devil is in the machinery!

2) Get Rid of Those Auto Check Outs and HIRE SOME PEOPLE! –  Here’s my ancient Chinese secret, if you need more Calgon on the weekend, wait.    Besides the way the lines move at the K-Mart, CVS and Walbaum’s stores in South and East Hampton it’s quicker to order it from Amazon!    I know, I keep harping about this but at least hire some extra check out people.   Those scanners don’t work!!!    Besides, there are some people who these things just scare the bejeezus out of.  It’s the equivalent to them of appearing on stage!  They sweat!  They panic!   They freeze… then they freeze the machines!    It’s like Lucy in the chocolate factory.   I like my machines in movies…  example “The Terminator 2”.. not when I buy my milk.

3) Get Ample Parking and Force  Commuting! –  As anyone who’s been to Soul Cycle, Fly-Wheel or any of the gyms out here knows, half the work out is finding a parking space.   I’ve actually heard reports of fist fight in one particular spin studio!!!  Blood is not a good color on Lululemon!   So here is my idea… ride your bikes to spin class people!!! DUH!   You don’t have to do two classes this way and

It’s my space and class is starting!!!

you’re actually helping to save the planet (watch that Al Gore movie it will explain)!    On top of that gym/spin studio owners could help themselves by offering incentives to patrons that commute!   How about free water for everyone who comes in a car of two or more.  I know free water… it still cracks me up I’m willing to pay $2.50 for water!   My grandmother is rolling her eyes in her grave every time I do it!   But back to the topic… how about at least a free stain remover for those who have blood stains from the fights in the parking lot!!?  I know, it’s a brilliant idea!    OK, there it is my treatise on how to make the Hamptons happy again!  Have a great summer everybody!!!