WISHES FOR 2020! PLUS A TASTY PRIX FIXE!

I’m still reeling from the coal in my stocking this holiday season.    I mean I’m not poor, poor, pitiful me but I was hoping for a brand new shiny MacBook so I could bring you  more Hamptons Chatter!    But enough complaining!   Because the optimist that I am, my gaze is now turning toward the new year!    So what will it take to make me truly happy…. other than a good script of Zoloft?   Wait no further, here are my wishes for not only me but everyone in the Hamptons.    Remember, a few years ago I wished for a few  more good Mexican restaurants and now we have two (Coche Comedor and K Pasa).

Domino’s Pizza or Little Caesars – Since Phoenix restaurant in Wainscott closed the home delivery thing in the Hamptons sucks.    I grew up in suburbia and although we didn’t have Ubereats or anything of a sort, we at least had pizza delivery!!    While I know the above pizza companies aren’t exactly gourmet, they deliver!   I’m not picky, I’m just lazy.

More Cell Towers – A few years ago, I wrote a blog about all the dead zones out east (click here)   Well not much has changed in the 6  years since I wrote that piece.    If you don’t believe me how bad it is on the East End, download the Open Signal app.   It will

CELLMAP2
A VERY CRUDE MAP;  A is an ATT dead zone.  V is Verizon dead zone.

show you how bad it actually gets.    The one thing that has changed is that more folks are abandoning landlines for cell service only.     Where a few years ago, cell phones were a luxury they are now necessity.    The fact the Hamptons have such limited service is not only dangerous it’s irresponsible.  UPDATE:   It looks as if something is happening soon… for ATT users !!!  CLICK HERE

An Upgraded Movie Theater – I love going to the movies.   The popcorn, the shared experience and the amazing real estate commercial before the film even starts are all part of a great evening.    But lately, I’m having CINEMA ENVY.    Social media posts by all of those snowbirds in Florida flaunting reclining chairs and big glasses of Chardonnay while watching Star Wars have me wanting that experience here.

Tuto
Cool Temps & Red Hot Deal

I know most folks would pay more just to avoid having the seat where your legs are in your mouth and a spring is puncturing your back.

Well enough wishing and complaining for now anyway.    If you’re looking for something good to do this time of year and I know the options are limited… I’m going to start talking about some of the great prix fixes going on right now.   My first choice right now is Tutto Il Giorno in Southampton and Sag Harbor.   On Thursday and Sunday’s they’re offering a 3 course dinner and two glasses of wine for 2 at $59.00 (not including tip).   Considering that’s the price of a single entree at some places, this is a great deal.   Not only that the food is off the hook but not exactly low calorie.    I will also say, this place has some of the best atmosphere of any eatery on the East End.    Well that’s it for me this time around.. MANGIA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWERING SAG’S KNEAD FOR DOUGH… AND IT’S THE ____ OF THE HAMPTONS.

I hope it doesn’t sound too too cheesy,  but I’ve been working on some snappy lines about the newest restaurant to open its doors in Sag Harbor.    Yes, I know I need to work on my delivery.    Anyway, for now I’ll just give you a piece of my mind about Sag Pizza.

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11am and they’re lining up!

Located in the site of the former Conca D’oro (they even kept the sign),  the newly renovated and sleekly designed restaurant opened it’s doors to a hungry horde earlier today.   Perhaps it’s because it’s from the same folks that brought us LT Burger that had them lining up outside an hour before a single pie was tossed.   So, how is it?   I thought it was pretty darn good, especially since they were only opened for about an hour.    While I heard some grumbling about having to wait in line to get a slice, it’s the first day folks!   I’m sure they know there’s mushroom for improvement and given the folks running the place,  they’ll get there soon enough.   Now, to the really important part… the food itself.    I had a slice of the margherita and one of the pepperoni.   Both were made with fresh mozzarella and sauce on a thin crust that was nicely complimented by a slight smoky

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Sagpizza.com

flavor from the wood burning oven.   Overall, a solid slice and a welcome addition to Sag Harbor.      If you want more menu information, click on the restaurants website here.    Let me know what YOU think.

You know how when you go to any town in the U.S. and the locals have a funny way of referring to their community,   you know like in Bayonne you’ll meet someone and they’ll tell you how “people call us the Paris of New Jersey!”    Hmmm, while I’m not sure I usually agree with these analogies I will tell you, I do have a few of my own about certain things in the Hamptons.    In fact, I asked some of my friends if they had some quaint ways to refer to the sites and sounds of the Hamptons.   Here are a few of my favorites:

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Madison and Main

Madison and Main Sag Harbor is the 42nd and Broadway of the Hamptons.    With pedestrians that don’t look, drivers who don’t know how to drive and more cars than these two streets can handle,  I can see it.      Hit that intersection on a Saturday at 7pm in July and August and you’ll be looking for the dirty Elmo to come take his picture with your kids for $5.

Stop and Shop stores are the DMV of the Hamptons.  Perhaps it’s the long lines.    It could also be the parking lot that’s full with the mayhem and madness of novice drivers.  Maybe it’s the cranky cashiers or maybe it’s the fact you really don’t want to buy the produce at either that this comparison makes sense.   Either way, I’m not a fan of either and they apparently bought their dingy lighting from the same place.

Gucci pants, shoes, shirt and an Hermes belt are the Garanimals of the Hamptons.    Remember those kids who used to eat the glue in 3rd grade?    The ones who were lucky enough to have their mother tell them to always make sure they wear a giraffe pants with a giraffe shirt?!   Well some of them grew up and now live in the Hamptons.   Yes, t

hermes
It matches!!!!

hey’re here and still dressing with the same amount of thought as they did when they were in phonics class.    It’s a thoughtless uniform but with a more expensive flair.     By the way, I would wear these Garanimals too if I had the money to spare.

Tesla is the Honda of the Hamptons.   If you live in a normal part of the world you go out to dinner, the movies or wherever and you park in a lot that’s probably Honda heavy.    It’s a good car.  It’s a sensible car.    It’s also the vehicle, 90 percent of your friends drive in the rest of the world.    Well this isn’t Cherry Hill here.    It’s the Hamptons.    Yes, sensible has a different look here on the East End.    But hey, I do like these cars.   I’m not knocking them.   BUT, if only there was a supercharging station closer than Southampton.

Amagansett is the Tribeca of the Hamptons.    It’s young, it’s hip, it’s loaded with celebs, it’s trendy and the coffee shops are so hip they hurt!    I hope I don’t need to explain this further.     If you don’t believe me, stop by Jack’s coffee anytime from now to Labor day.   Oh, and if you ever see a guy wearing gap khaki shorts and a polo shirt who stands out like a sore thumb in town…. that’s me.

 

 

 

 

HATE CROWDS? NO RESERVATIONS?! NO PROBLEM!! A QUICK GUIDE TO HAMPTONS DELIVERY!

One of the things I like least about summer in the Hamptons is the crowds.   While I’m not an agoraphobic, the idea of dealing with traffic and pushy patrons is sometimes more than I can handle. Besides, I get extreme guilt leaving my dogs behind… because they like to party as much as the next animal.  So, unlike NYC where you can have a cup of coffee delivered for free, finding door to door service out east is a little more difficult.   Virtually nobody delivers in the Hamptons. I know White’s Pharmacy delivers… but cough drops and Metamucil don’t quite satisfy my hunger like they should.   What do you do when your cupboards are bare, traffic is backed up and everybody is hungry?   Well, here’s the skinny on getting chubby without leaving home…..

There are two.. repeat only TWO Chinese restaurants that I think are worth the weight in MSG. Number 1 (631-726-8080) in Water Mill and Pheonix in Wainscott (631-537-0011).    There are a few others in the area but one of them actually has Immodium on the menu which to me is a big red flag…OK I’m kidding.   While my two recommendations aren’t exactly Shun Lee or Mr. Chow’s, they’re both good, hearty and reasonably priced.  My personal favorites are the “scallion pancakes” at Pheonix and the “spicy chicken and broccoli” at #1.    Both are the best Chinese delivery in the HAMPTONS!  Although, that’s kind of like saying it’s the friendliest restaurant in France.

When it’ comes to Pizza. There are no Domino’s in the Hamptons. Which is a good thing. But darn it, why is it so hard to get a pizza brought to your door on a rainy Saturday night!?   Well there are only a few choices for delivery pizza at a good price.  In Montauk, you have Sausages (631-668-1144) .. In Bridgehampton there’s American Pie (631-613-6177) in the Commons and Southampton has Paul’s (631-283-1861) and Melrose East.   In East Hampton you have Pizza and Things Spring’s Pizza. Customers like it for their reasonable prices, friendly staff and fresh ingredients (631) 324-7974.

Also in East Hampton, the Red Horse Market will deliver groceries or prepared foods with a $100 minimum purchase.  I’m pretty sure you can get them to bring one of their pizzas to the door as well.  By the way, throw a fresh mozzarella in there for good measure and melt some extra on the pie.

If you’re looking for something a little more exotic you can try Saaz in Southampton.    They deliver and according to some, they’ll go all the way to East Hampton.    That’s a good thing too since the New York Times raved the food is “uniformly excellent… a long overdue addition to Hamptons dining.”     Saaz – (631) 259-2222 – is located just as you come into Southampton on CR 39 at the former site of Mason Ole  – where Montezuma always got his revenge!      Saaz is a much better welcome to the east end!

While I’m sure there are others that may deliver, this is the list I came up with based on my own personal experience and those I know around town.

New Snack Food Coming to the Hamptons… Ore Ida and Totino’s must be nervous!

I don’t know if this ironic but as the tundra on the east end is finally melting,  there appeared a sign suggesting that my one of my favorite frozen foods is getting it’s due in the Hamptons.

The site of the establishment known as The Pizza Place in Bridgehampton is apparently becoming a Goldberg’s Bagels and Pizza.   Now, I don’t know if they’ll be selling pizza and bagels or pizza-bagels but I’ll tell you if it’s the latter, Ore Ida foods are going to be mad!   It’s not the oddest combination ever but it is a bit different.   Anyway, here’s a helpful hint for the owners of this establishment, make a drive through window in the front!!!  That would be awesome!

Bridge Cafe, Ziggy’s, M+M is now an office!
Meanwhile, the former site of Bridge Cafe, Ziggy’s and M+E Restaurant on Sag Harbor Turnpike will not be coming back as another restaurant anytime soon.   It’s been renovated and now is an office for a builder and contractor.  Is it me but is every builder now taking high profile locations for their offices?   Well, they say real estate is the best form of advertising and builders are the new Starbucks in the Hamptons!
Bissell Spot Clean… a life saver!
Finally, last week I wrote about the best housewarming gift in the Hamptons and it was quite popular.   So, I’m going to do it again and give Hamptons folks another must have item!  If you have guests and or pets who are sloppy and have bad bladders….   with me the dogs are fine it’s the guests that have the problem… you need to get a Bissell spot clean.   So, let me paint a picture for everyone.  You’re hosting a party and you’re serving … let’s say…. pizza-bagels and someone drops theirs on the floor sauce side down.   Well go grab the spot cleaner spray the area and vacuum the water up!   I’m telling you this machine is a life saver and can be used on both rugs and furniture.     Also, if you’re a tenant and you don’t want to get billed for damages because one of your guests couldn’t make it outside in time to go, voila!   These machine really works.  You can buy it online or at the local Kmart or hardware store for about $100.   Trust me you’ll thank me!
Don’t fear the pizza bagel!