real estate. – Page 3 – Hamptons Chatter

NEW CHIEFS AND CHEFS FOR INDIAN WELLS TAVERN!

February 13, 2020February 12, 2020

THE FINAL POW WOW IS AROUND THE CORNER FOR INDIAN WELLS.

The wagons have circled and it looks as though changes are a comin’ to Indian Wells Tavern in Amagansett. What is easily one of the most popular watering holes around will be shuttering its doors at the beginning of March. From what I’m told the Main Street location is in for a slight make over as the team behind Highway Restaurant takes over the reigns. The new establishment will allegedly stay pretty similar to the current “tavern” menu but with a slightly “higher end” flair. According to sources, (sources LOL, it almost sounds like I’m a real blog!) staff of the Tavern was told of the changes earlier this week. I only hope that with these changes current owners Kevin Boles and Chris Eggart carry their Wednesday Fajita Nights to either Bostwick’s locations.

Meanwhile on another night… I mean note…. it’s that time of year. Yes, permits for East Hampton Village beaches are now on sale. Every year I tell folks to do it early and EVERY year I hear how they ran out and you have to actually ride your bikes to the beach. The 3,100 permits usually run out around late March so get on it! You can click here to get all the details and apply for your permit online.

One word of caution for anyone who gets a permit. Last year I had damaged my license plates and had to get new ones with a new number. MISTAKE! I forgot my beach permit has the license plate number written on it and got a hefty $200 ticket. I tried to fight it but after two emails and one written letter I gave up. Learn from my mistake… you’re welcome.

FINAL THOUGHTS…. Why are there telephone poles on Wireless rd.?

WISHES FOR 2020! PLUS A TASTY PRIX FIXE!

January 21, 2020

I’m still reeling from the coal in my stocking this holiday season. I mean I’m not poor, poor, pitiful me but I was hoping for a brand new shiny MacBook so I could bring you more Hamptons Chatter! But enough complaining! Because the optimist that I am, my gaze is now turning toward the new year! So what will it take to make me truly happy…. other than a good script of Zoloft? Wait no further, here are my wishes for not only me but everyone in the Hamptons. Remember, a few years ago I wished for a few more good Mexican restaurants and now we have two (Coche Comedor and K Pasa).

Domino’s Pizza or Little Caesars – Since Phoenix restaurant in Wainscott closed the home delivery thing in the Hamptons sucks. I grew up in suburbia and although we didn’t have Ubereats or anything of a sort, we at least had pizza delivery!! While I know the above pizza companies aren’t exactly gourmet, they deliver! I’m not picky, I’m just lazy.

More Cell Towers – A few years ago, I wrote a blog about all the dead zones out east (click here) Well not much has changed in the 6 years since I wrote that piece. If you don’t believe me how bad it is on the East End, download the Open Signal app. It will

CELLMAP2 — A VERY CRUDE MAP; A is an ATT dead zone. V is Verizon dead zone.

show you how bad it actually gets. The one thing that has changed is that more folks are abandoning landlines for cell service only. Where a few years ago, cell phones were a luxury they are now necessity. The fact the Hamptons have such limited service is not only dangerous it’s irresponsible. UPDATE: It looks as if something is happening soon… for ATT users !!! CLICK HERE

An Upgraded Movie Theater – I love going to the movies. The popcorn, the shared experience and the amazing real estate commercial before the film even starts are all part of a great evening. But lately, I’m having CINEMA ENVY. Social media posts by all of those snowbirds in Florida flaunting reclining chairs and big glasses of Chardonnay while watching Star Wars have me wanting that experience here.

I know most folks would pay more just to avoid having the seat where your legs are in your mouth and a spring is puncturing your back.

Well enough wishing and complaining for now anyway. If you’re looking for something good to do this time of year and I know the options are limited… I’m going to start talking about some of the great prix fixes going on right now. My first choice right now is Tutto Il Giorno in Southampton and Sag Harbor. On Thursday and Sunday’s they’re offering a 3 course dinner and two glasses of wine for 2 at $59.00 (not including tip). Considering that’s the price of a single entree at some places, this is a great deal. Not only that the food is off the hook but not exactly low calorie. I will also say, this place has some of the best atmosphere of any eatery on the East End. Well that’s it for me this time around.. MANGIA!

IF YOU WANT TO GET INVITED BACK FOR SUMMER 2020?

August 16, 2019August 15, 2019

A few years ago, I gave some homeowners the ultimate guide (click here) to getting rid of those guests that just can’t take a hint. You know the types, that turn a two day invitation into a living hell only to discuss extending their stay! Well, today’s blog isn’t about how to get them to leave, it’s about giving them parameters for being invited next summer! Yep print this out and leave it on the dresser or send this blog link with a wink and a nod and say, “but you know I don’t mean YOU!”

So here you go, my attempt at preventing animosity, hurt feelings, bruised egos…

keebler elf — **I don’t work in the Hamptons!**

and most of all bloodshed. This is the ultimate Hamptons chatter guide for houseguests on HOW TO GET INVITED BACK!

1- Pick up your dishes! The sink isn’t magic and those dishes you leave in the sink don’t get rinsed and put into the dishwasher by a group of unemployed Keebler elves.

This means your coffee cups, wine glasses, bagel dishes and jam crusted knives need YOU to rinse them off and put them into the dishwasher! If the said washer is dirty and the housekeeper has the day off, here’s a great way to earn brownie points… empty the thing!!!

2- Don’t use a new towel every ten minutes! Most of us don’t have a full time staff or an unlimited supply of bath and beach towels. One of the biggest complaints I hear from Hamptons homeowners is when guests go through the linen closet booty like tissue paper.

Try limiting your use to one beach/pool towel and one bath towel. Unless you’re helping with the lawn or cleaning my septic tank, odds are you can hang your towels and reuse the next day!

3-Don’t drink (or eat) more than you bring – If you bring one bottle of Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian wine feel free to drink it and offer your host a glass. Do not take said Blue Hawaiian put it on a shelf and then proceed to drink all of my Sancerre. That’s just not nice! Buy a nice bottle of wine anytime you visit the Hamptons … it’s the right thing to do. Also, if you plan on going on a bender, it’s a good idea to make it a case.

4- No fighting – You might not think this needs to be mentioned but believe you me…. it’s worth bringing up. If you want to be a good guest don’t fight with the hosts, don’t fight with the other guests and don’t fight with your companion. This means avoid drinking too much, don’t talk about politics and religion and don’t be cranky. Always remember, you got invited because your hosts enjoy your company…. be enjoyable!

5- If you’re in a bad mood or don’t feel like socializing don’t come! Yes, most Hamptons homes have wi-fi. Yes, the guest rooms are comfortable. Yes, most have central air. But if that’s an excuse for staying in your room all day, why are you even there!!!!???? Stay in the city or check into a Holiday Inn express… you’ll feel smarter!

6 – Eat in the Kitchen – Do you do that at your own home? Do not take Toasted Coconut Entenmann Donuts without a napkin into the bedroom or anywhere else around the house. Also, eating your chicken salad sandwich with a side of guac and chips in the pool and hot tub is kind of a faux pas.

7- Wear clothes around the house – I know. I didn’t think this needed mentioning TOO but butts aren’t always good. Especially if you’re sitting in someone’s living room. But then again if you look like a supermodel….

Now excuse me, as I wrap up this blog. I’ll now get off my soapbox and put some of that soap in the washer and start cleaning more of your towels.

SOULCYCLE GETS A NEW NEIGHBOR IN WATER MILL! YOU KNOW IT’S SUMMER WHEN….

June 12, 2019

In what’s probably one of the better business moves this summer, Sag Harbor staple Provisions will be adding another location at the former site of Citerella in Water Mill shopping center.

A smart move considering every Saturday and Sunday, the area swarms with Lululemonites loitering after the SoulCycle classes next door. Which means getting a green juice or smoothie just got a lot easier!! Thank the lord…. or at least the owners of Provisions. If you’ve never been to Sag Harbor location, it’s probably one of the best natural food markets anywhere and the organic cafe is always packed!! According to highly placed sources (the guy at the cash register yesterday), the Water Mill location will be opening sometime in Mid-July. While I’m sure it will swamped like their other location, they may want to burn some sage to be safe. It couldn’t hurt to clean some of the possible bad juju that sunk Citarella (in that location), Avanti market (which I loved), West Elm and Blockbuster video (damn you streaming video!)! Anyway, you can check out their website by clicking here for more details.

Well, the calendar says it’s June and the summer season is defintiely upon us. But like the traffic jams on 27 and the blooms of the rhodaden… Roudaden….. Rhodamorgenterns… errrr… RHODODENDRON (like you know how to spell it?) there are other signs that that it’s that time of year in the Hamptons! Here are a few that I always look for…

Wolffer Vineyards becomes the Pumpkin Town of warm weather on Friday Nights! Screaming kids, parents that ignore them, jazz music and cars lining up and down the highway…. all with Summer in a Bottle… it’s beach living at it’s finest!

People are constantly asking every store, restaurant, real estate office and bank for their wifi password! Cell service sucks in the Hamptons…. we all know it. It’s even suckier in the summer! Period. Listen I get it…. it’s isolating and frustrating. But maybe this summer we can try checking our social media accounts when we get home people!? Nahhhh. I hate talking to people in person too!

There’s a stranded German luxury car on the beach! If you drive two days a week for 12 weeks a year, maybe getting a Range Rover or Merced Audibeach9 es G-Class isn’t such a great Mercedeesbeach idea (also other people need parking spaces too!) Try starting with something smaller and easier to handle and perhaps watertight like a VW bug. Just because you have 4 wheel drive doesn’t mean your car is good for beach driving, especially as the high tide is coming!

Restaurant Managers get Amnesia! If you’ve ever seen the movie “What’s Up Doc,” you’ll remember the scene where Madeline Kahn gets dragged out of a banquet by her heels when her fiance says “I’ve never seen this woman before in my life.” Well that’s how more than a few of us feel this time of year when we head out to eat on weekend night. Ummm, I’m the guy who comes in every Monday in October and April and I’m the only one in the place?! Patrick?! No!? Grrrrrr.

Anyway, enough complaining…. I’m loving the warm weather, the calls from my long lost relatives and paying double for everything! It’s summer in the Hamptons everyone!!! Party on!